Dearest Blog Buddies …


This is me going rogue. Lovely blueberry vinaigrette with slight touch of avocado oil tops my salad. YUM! There is a cup and half mixed greens ... a lovely 1/2 cup of fresh herbs and broccoli slaw were pilled prior to all the other YUM'd up ingredients were added. This salad while having fat ... had all good fat and not that much of it. :)

I am sorry to have alarmed you all.  My intent on here is to be honest and open about my struggles as I have travel my path to a healthier me, not to alarm you.  My health conditions can be alarming … I guess … but I am used to them.  I am beyond touched that so many of you have stepped up and made sure I don’t lose focus and are concerned about me.  So, let me see if I can make you feel better about what is going on.  I am not sure it will, but … KNOW … I have a Plan and folks helping keep me accountable — some of them are you.  :)

I have had chronic fatigue for the better part of 24 years.  This is how the whole saga began 24 years ago, with me going from a healthy young woman weighing in at 125-ish pounds to being 180+ pounds in less than six months.  This is not a new foe.  I have been very surprised that it has not attacked me before now.  It normally comes along much sooner into a weight-loss attempt.  I think that speaks volumes for the quality of the EatRight program I am a part of along with “The Evil Dr. Ard”–believe me; THEY are by my side watching over me. I have chatted a bit with Dr. Ard, and I have had one call last week and two emails with Lindsey the program director in the last day.  They know where I am.

I will NEVER give myself much room to fall away; be assured: I am NOT going anywhere.  Thanks, though, guys for stepping up to the plate and working to keep me inline.  I LOVE IT!  You made me feel very special.

The birth of my grandson came at the wrong time for my weight-loss journey.  There is a process that I go through that sort of stabilizes my weight, but I was unable to work this out before leaving for Alaska.  Bad judgement in timing of things — live and learn — wish I could have skipped this lesson.  I believe this is why I am struggling (my not getting the timing of this right) even though I worked hard while in Alaska (didn’t do too bad either), and why I have had a bit of a problem with gaining once I returned.  I was so tired, when I got back home, that I could not make heads or tails out of what was going on.  If you have never suffered with chronic fatigue you just do not understand how it can make every effort of movement feel as though you are trudging through a thigh-high mud field … you will just have to take my word for it.

Also, you will have to take my word, or not, that you cannot muscle through this.  You have to REST it out.  I have learned the hard way that, if I press, I will lose more ground than you can imagine.  I don’t want to lose ground!  If I “Eat Right” and rest my body I will return to normal faster and with little weight gain.  When I say rest … that means I do a class here or there.  Lift a few weights here or there.  Run/walk here or there.  ONLY as my body will allow, then I flop over in bed and stare at the walls.  It doesn’t mean I am inactive in the bed eating everything that isn’t glued down.  I don’t have binge problems.  When I say I am hungry … I am HUNGRY.  I just have to make sure what I am putting in my body won’t undo all the hard work I have put in this past year.  Just so you know, the team at EatRight know and are on board with me, and I will be in there tomorrow picking up product, and we will weigh next week.

There is a limit to the battles a girl can handle at one time.  You have NO idea (unless you have been here) how maddening it is to battle with Chronic Fatigue, the loss of muscle control, lack of coordination, and lack of concentration.  It makes me so mad and frustrated that I just can’t handle another battle.  Mike and I labored over what to do.  We decided that my body needs a break from the push, besides he likes my body how it looks now; in fact, everyone in my family wants me to stop NOW.

I don’t want to stop here at whatever weight this is.  It is not a bad weight, but I don’t feel good here.  I don’t like how my tummy feels all bloated-and-the-like, so they are going to have to get over themselves … but for now … they will get their collective wish as I cannot press for yet a little while longer.  Health has always been the #1 goal.  I have to give my body time to heal.  Rest, eating right, and proper exercise will be the only goals for the moment.

There is one other factor that may be exacerbating my situation; my thyroid.  Originally, I was to have taken a bit more, but I am VERY sensitive to medications, and we had to move more slowly.  The last bump up could not be tolerated; it would give me palpitations.  I took it yesterday and today and I have begun to feel more alive and with it.  I have a call in to that doc to see what they think about me going ahead with the original plan.  I don’t know what my blood work means regarding this info so … I will wait for their professional opinions.

Thanks again for your input and concern.  You are a BLESSING to me!

Later … S

18 thoughts on “Dearest Blog Buddies …

  1. My darling Shonnie – I totally understand what you’re saying – I mean I REALLY understand! Around 23yrs ago I contracted the CMV virus which was accompanied by severe CFS – I couldn’t lift a brush to brush my daughter’s hair – and it came to a head when I couldn’t open a fire fire door – I was too weak to push it open! I completely hear you – and you are so right – if you work your body too hard during a a bad spell, it will set you back – you need to listen carefully and obey what your body is telling you to do! xxx

    • Thanks Dizi for understanding. I have been pushing, but only when I feel I can and for how long I feel I can. Trying NOT to do my normal push-til-you-can-barely-crawl-home thing. :) I really have to use selfcontrol during these days. It is so very hard and I am terribly grumpy.

  2. Shonnie – I’m home sick on the couch. It happens periodically and usually it’s an RA flare up. I had the cold thing in October. This is different – I couldn’t even get out of bed and tackle my busy day today. It SUCKS. I believe this was brought on by two weekends of family stress from the inlaws – a diva niece and her mother being ridiculous about a baby shower. I didn’t sleep and was so angry and bufuddled, and this is how it affects me. I imagine your CFS has similar symptoms.

    I know you’re like me – you’re in charge, you know your body – so rest up and do what you gotta do. ANd then get back on that horse, and get back here because we miss the heck outta you.

    Leigh

    • Leigh,
      I am so sorry to hear that you are home sick on the couch! What is RA — I think I know, but I am still in a fog. Thanks for the vote of confidence and you are RIGHT! We rise above our illnesses to take on the world. :D

      • Shonnie, RA is rheumatoid Arthritis. An auto immune disease which creates inflammation in joints and organs, causes great pain, deterioration of joints and results in much fatigue as well. Horrible diséase although I have had it a long time and have learned to manage it with exercise, rest, medication, vitamins, and holistic therapies like massage.

        Leigh

      • That’s what I thought. You explained it better than I would have. My Mom has that but never calls it RA. She has done similarly to you and has done very well for a very long time. I have followed her lead in vitamins that work to keep my joints healthy … already have enough to deal with on that front! :D

        Thanks Leigh

  3. Oh, honey. I’m so sorry you have to go through this! I haven’t had chronic fatigue by I’ve watched my mother struggle with both that and depression…. It’s such a struggle. Your salad looks lovely and your spirit is AMAZING! Rest and healing for you, sweet lady. I’m sending all my best thoughts your way!

    • Thanks Desi! Life has been a challenge over the last few months, body issues and now this … but I will arise out of this victorious. I didn’t realize your mother struggled with this. Sorry to hear that. Thanks and I am receiving that rest via the net! :)

  4. Dear Shonnie:

    Hope you get a handle on this soon as you are an active girl and I know you feel better active. Thank goodness for the blessings of family and little Sophia to inspire you! :-) Feel better soon.

    Love and hugs,

    Nancy

    • Nancy — I will get a handle on it soon. I can already feel the tide beginning to turn … at least that is what it feels like. :)

      My family inspires me everyday. :)

  5. I can only imagine the feeling of having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I am fairly active, and have been blessed to have a high metabolism. That helps when I over eat. Get your rest, take care of yourself, and I will continue to check in. I wish you the best. You are an inspiration to a lot of people; me included. Take care.

    • Thanks Patrick. Keep checkin’ back in and I am gonna be checkin’ on you too. I can’t wait to hear about your book and to be one of the first to snap it up! :)

      No fear — I will rise again. :)

  6. My dear friend, your health is mighty important to me. You may not have known that. And now you do. That being said, you are a tough cookie. I have never met a woman more determined and goal oriented than you. That being said, I have faith that you will pull through. Hugs and kisses. Virtual one at least.

    • Miss Emm — that is so sweet. I know it so strange how deeply connected we become to one another. Thank you for such heart-lifting words. You are right — I am determined and I will rise up. This is just a bump. :) I felt the HUGs and Kisses in my spirit! I smiled from ear to ear when I read your words. amazing how powerful they can be.

      Love and hugs to you!
      Shonnie

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