I am sorry to have alarmed you all. My intent on here is to be honest and open about my struggles as I have travel my path to a healthier me, not to alarm you. My health conditions can be alarming … I guess … but I am used to them. I am beyond touched that so many of you have stepped up and made sure I don’t lose focus and are concerned about me. So, let me see if I can make you feel better about what is going on. I am not sure it will, but … KNOW … I have a Plan and folks helping keep me accountable — some of them are you. :)
I have had chronic fatigue for the better part of 24 years. This is how the whole saga began 24 years ago, with me going from a healthy young woman weighing in at 125-ish pounds to being 180+ pounds in less than six months. This is not a new foe. I have been very surprised that it has not attacked me before now. It normally comes along much sooner into a weight-loss attempt. I think that speaks volumes for the quality of the EatRight program I am a part of along with “The Evil Dr. Ard”–believe me; THEY are by my side watching over me. I have chatted a bit with Dr. Ard, and I have had one call last week and two emails with Lindsey the program director in the last day. They know where I am.
I will NEVER give myself much room to fall away; be assured: I am NOT going anywhere. Thanks, though, guys for stepping up to the plate and working to keep me inline. I LOVE IT! You made me feel very special.
The birth of my grandson came at the wrong time for my weight-loss journey. There is a process that I go through that sort of stabilizes my weight, but I was unable to work this out before leaving for Alaska. Bad judgement in timing of things — live and learn — wish I could have skipped this lesson. I believe this is why I am struggling (my not getting the timing of this right) even though I worked hard while in Alaska (didn’t do too bad either), and why I have had a bit of a problem with gaining once I returned. I was so tired, when I got back home, that I could not make heads or tails out of what was going on. If you have never suffered with chronic fatigue you just do not understand how it can make every effort of movement feel as though you are trudging through a thigh-high mud field … you will just have to take my word for it.
Also, you will have to take my word, or not, that you cannot muscle through this. You have to REST it out. I have learned the hard way that, if I press, I will lose more ground than you can imagine. I don’t want to lose ground! If I “Eat Right” and rest my body I will return to normal faster and with little weight gain. When I say rest … that means I do a class here or there. Lift a few weights here or there. Run/walk here or there. ONLY as my body will allow, then I flop over in bed and stare at the walls. It doesn’t mean I am inactive in the bed eating everything that isn’t glued down. I don’t have binge problems. When I say I am hungry … I am HUNGRY. I just have to make sure what I am putting in my body won’t undo all the hard work I have put in this past year. Just so you know, the team at EatRight know and are on board with me, and I will be in there tomorrow picking up product, and we will weigh next week.
There is a limit to the battles a girl can handle at one time. You have NO idea (unless you have been here) how maddening it is to battle with Chronic Fatigue, the loss of muscle control, lack of coordination, and lack of concentration. It makes me so mad and frustrated that I just can’t handle another battle. Mike and I labored over what to do. We decided that my body needs a break from the push, besides he likes my body how it looks now; in fact, everyone in my family wants me to stop NOW.
I don’t want to stop here at whatever weight this is. It is not a bad weight, but I don’t feel good here. I don’t like how my tummy feels all bloated-and-the-like, so they are going to have to get over themselves … but for now … they will get their collective wish as I cannot press for yet a little while longer. Health has always been the #1 goal. I have to give my body time to heal. Rest, eating right, and proper exercise will be the only goals for the moment.
There is one other factor that may be exacerbating my situation; my thyroid. Originally, I was to have taken a bit more, but I am VERY sensitive to medications, and we had to move more slowly. The last bump up could not be tolerated; it would give me palpitations. I took it yesterday and today and I have begun to feel more alive and with it. I have a call in to that doc to see what they think about me going ahead with the original plan. I don’t know what my blood work means regarding this info so … I will wait for their professional opinions.
Thanks again for your input and concern. You are a BLESSING to me!
Later … S