What does my the future hold? What changes will I make for 2012?
I know, I know … I am a tad late with my “New Year’s Resolution.” I’m kinda special like that. Most of you know, if you have read my paltry posts since Christmas. I was up in the “Not so frozen North,” in the mostly gray (as in the color or lack-there-of of SUN) Ketchikan, Alaska to see the birth of my second grandchild. It took more days than I could have imagined trying to re-acclimate to Central Standard Time from Alaska Standard time.
What was it that messed with me so bad?
- It could have been the time change.
- It could have been the excitement of seeing my son and his new family.
- It could have been eating foods that I am not accustomed to eating any longer.
- It could have been the dark gray of most of my days there.
Who knows?? I have given up trying to figure it all out. A tired brain tends to make though processes difficult. Thus the lack of post since the birth of my grandson.
I do battle still (although, not as often) with chronic fatigue that just starts moving in on me like a flood, a massive flood of exhaustion. I can mostly function, but I sort of stumble and drop things. I swear it feel as though some evil alien has come and sucked the life out of me, leaving me but a shell. Sometimes those moments translate into very funny posts other time all I can do is stare at the computer knowing I have thoughts, that sound very cool in my head mind you, but I cannot for the life of me get them to spill out of my brain in a readable format.
What does one do? Is it writers block? It is worse … it is writers and readers block … I can barely handle words over 8 or 10 at a time and they must complete the thought or idea or I will be lost by that point. These are the times when I actually talk backwards and people stare at me wondering what drugs I am on. I stand there wishing I had some drugs for these moments. We are both bewildered by what passes for language or communication, in those moments NO one would ever believe I coached speech and debate … ever.
So Mikey, being the great guy that he is took me to the beach to revive me. Only, it didn’t quite work out as planned. I don’t mean to say we didn’t have a great time, because WE DID! It was AWESOME! Wish I was still there it was so grand. But ….
After our very-short-for-us-ride of about 38 or so miles I didn’t want to go out for cocktails … I just wanted to fall over in bed and sleep. Only, I could NOT fall asleep. Which annoyed me beyond words, because Sunday we were supposed to go for another not-so-longish-ride in the sun before heading home. You know, savor the day and all that good stuff. Well, we couldn’t get an early start and make a day of that because I couldn’t wake up until about 10:30 am, because sleep eluded me until the wee hours of the morning. What the Heck?
We arranged for late check out and some time in the hotel spa for late that afternoon, to hopefully make up for the loss of day caused by my fitful night of sleep. We packed up our belongings and donned our riding gear for an even shorter ride the other direction towards Destin along the scenic beach highway. Fartlek, did not feel like my friend on our bike over to the beach that was filled with serious sprints to avoid being road kill, much as the-day-before’s short but hard ride–PAINFUL. Fartlek is a great training tool, but I am not so sure it should be used by sleep-deprived-time-changed-bescrewed bodies. I’m just sayin’ is all.
I was not sweet to know when my blood sugars took a nose dive. Mike is very sweet with me when I am like this. He bought me a donut to slow the plunge and get his bride back in normal zone. It worked and lunch helped, but Mike constantly laughed at how I kept falling foward on the table. He said you look like you are going to fall asleep right here … I snorted and told him I was trying hard not too. Even though I am lighter I didn’t want to strain his back when he had to hoist me out my seat and lug me to the car. Thanfull that humilation was avoided, but only by a smidge. I won’t bore you with the difficulty I had getting in and out of the bathroom before we drove back to the spa.
Yes, I managed to make it into the healing waters of the spa, and yummy the sauna, and the steam room without killing myself or emarrasing myself. This was quite the challenge when you figure I didn’t a a swim suit–I could only wrap a towel about me for all these yummy spa treatments (being able to do this was fun–but will have to wait for later). We left for home early because I just could function no longer in the human word with language, nor anthing that resembled kindnesses expected of a southern lady.
Ok and Then there is the whole, I-haven’t-been-eating-on-plan-even-though-not-terrible-so-I-have-gained fear relationship with my scales. I know that this was all part and parcel of my going away … life is a series of choice and I made mine knowing this would happen. It just STINKS and I am not sure which attack I plan on taking, because I can’t think it through well. My brain locks up! Being tired makes it very hard to finish my goal plan for the year. I still and debating what to do with myself. I am so tired right now, the sun is shining and I long to go out for a walk or even a bit of a run, but I am so tired I just want to lay down and go back to sleep.
Tell me this will end soon!!!! Somebody, tell me this will go away already! I will share with you my plan when i have one. :D
I have so many cool things to share with you. The amazing things people said to me. There are the cool people I met waiting for my plane to arrive (I am thinking of the English Proff who’s name has escaped my beleaguered mind.) … all this will have to wait until my body comes back to some form of life and energy.
Be back again soon ….S