As many of you know, today, I had the first of the many tests and trials in my new journey with healthy living. This is the part that makes me mad. I really don’t like new tests, new doctors … it usually means new things that show nothing, and efforts with no results. Enough with the whining–on with the show.
Due to the lack of traffic, (I think it is because sane people are out of town on holiday), I manage to arrive early in-spite-of leaving home late. I weave my way through the building and find a spot to wait–no one is in the office except a few cleaning ladies resting in the other lounge chairs. A very young and pretty girl comes over to me, and asks if I am me, and I confirm that I am…me. She takes me through a doorway, and turns to one of the private rooms….BAM….what greets me, but the largest scale I have ever seen in my life. I jump and hesitate before entering.
She then directs me to recline in a big blue chair and admonishes me to …”relax.” I am further told that she will be back at 5 minutes after 8 AM. Mind you, I have had nothing but hot water and meds to eat this morning and relaxing isn’t my body’s highest priority. My body is craving a dark warm liquid filled with caffeine, and FOOD. Being the ever prepared person that I am, I am armed with a good book to distract me from the fact that I have 2 cheese sticks and a shake in my purse, a diet coke waits for me in the car.
When she feels that I have relaxed enough she comes into the room and proceeds to connect me to the machine. She hands me the clamp to pinch my nose shut, and the tube to insert into my mouth, and I am reminded to ONLY breath through the tube. “Lets practice,” she says sweetly as if we are about to do something fun–in case you are unsure, it isn’t fun. I have to breathe this way for 10 minutes. I am thinking, this can’t be so bad–just 10 min–I can do anything for that long. Immediately, my nose begins to feel as if I needed to blow it, my mouth becomes sticky cotton dry, and I feel like I am smothering. I am looking around as if I will find help from the gynormous scale or the clock I have for company in the room. I pick up my book and try to read to distract myself. (Note to myself : lying on one’s back while taking photos, makes one look skinnier–see–there is always a positive.)
After a time, that seems MUCH LONGER than 10 minuets, she returns to disconnect me from the machine. Whew! Wiping my brow in relief: it is OVER. 🙂 When the test is finished, you get the results right then–I am thinking VERY FAST. I LIKE FAST 🙂 Something odd comes up. I burn over 2000 calories just sitting still. SO…WHY THE HECK AM I FAT???? I am not going to scream or pull my hair out, other than my all caps question, just yet. Can someone explain this to me? I am sure the Doc will help. She was really nice and encouraging……so …….off we go for the next leg in the testing. BLOOD WORK. Don’t worry, I won’t take pics of that. =)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!