D-Day at UAB


Bruised and abused from yesterday’s bloodletting, I prepare to meet with Dr. Ard — (AKA the “evil Dr. Ard”–not my name).  The pre-admission info is taking longer to complete than expected, and now the lesson with “the Trainer Nazi” is not going to happen. I meet with Dr. Ard and his staff at NOON. Why is it we always think we have more time to do things than we actually do? (Written pre-arrival at my appointments)

The aftermath of my "not so gentle" bloodletting.

(Post Appointment Recap)  First, before I regale you with the fantastic details of my visit with the DR. Ard, I must tell you that I forgot my protein shake, and was starving when we arrived 30 minutes early for the meetings.  (Mikey went with me–he is the best guy ever–don’t cha think?  I do.) 🙂  Mike, being very much the optimist, as opposed to me the realist, believed that we could acquire a turkey bagel from the bagel shop before the meeting.  WRONG.  It took 25 min.  So, I chomped two bites out of the sandwich and headed into my meeting with the Optifast Program Director Lindsey–she is a dietitian.  Mike did the same as we were not wishing to torture my soon-to-be fellow Optifast associates in deprivation.

Today was a very long day.  We sat in a class and learned about the Optifast program in Optifast 101 class.  Immediately following that, she (Lindsey–who by the way is very sweet and VERY SKINNY–I would hate her but she is just too nice), took us back out to the lobby to wait to be called by the subsequent purveyor of humiliation.  In the mean time, Mike and I finished the sandwich in the waiting room of the deprived.

Some time later, I can’t be sure when because Mike and I were taking time to talk about business, another very perky pleasant lady called for me at the door of the waiting room. She took me into a room much like the one with gynormous scale–it had a a love seat for a blood pressure chair.  She instructed me to have a seat and go to my happy place as she was about to take my blood pressure.   It took two tries because it was hard to find a happy place in a bland room that smelled of antiseptic — I’m just sayin’…And … then, in her perky way she raises my BP’s up by weighing me and showing me my body fat index — YUCK!    (Weight 255 lbs. BMI 41.8)  All I can say is they picked the right people to work with fat folks — they sure are a delightful bunch of folks.

Next, we were taken to another room, and I was given an EKG–by another agreeable person.  (The EKG looked normal–I am healthy enough to be tortured without perishing.)  At this point, I was instructed to remain in the room for … drum roll please …. DR. ARD!  He is also a very nice person with a big smile.  He smiled a LOT, especially when he was about to tell you something you were not going to want to hear — LIKE I CAN ONLY EXERCISE 3 hours a WEEK!?!?!    I dance several hours a week, take the Trainer Nazi classes 3 or 4 hours a week—-What is a girl to do without her bike rides????  This week I can do NOTHING–but take gentle weenie walks.

He did give logical reasons for this insanity, and I will obey him….with vociferous emoting.  He gave me a concession of yoga.  So, Mike decided we would go for a gratifying meal, one fit for the last meal of the condemned, at the Cheese Cake Factory.  We got a sampling of yummy foods — of which I could eat ONLY A LITTLE — cuz my tummy has completely shriveled.  I will write more on this later –but for now–off to go and enjoy the last of solid foods for 18 weeks in my evening snack.


Blessings and Peace … happy eating to all you solid fooder’s ….S



8 thoughts on “D-Day at UAB

  1. You will do great! Very proud of you! Sounds like you have a great support staff in place too….that is important.

    A 4 month program sounds pretty intense but it also sounds like one that delivers results!

    • Greg, I have replied to this comment several times — I hope this one actually stays put. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I had no idea how truly awesome and amazing my friends were — you all have blown me away with your support. Thanks a mega million! 🙂

  2. Shonnie, I know how you feel. I have been doing Medifast for over a year. But on that program we do have some solid food to eat. I’m not doing my program right now because I am going to New Orleans next week. But once i get back, on January 17th it’s back on the program for me. I understand the no exercise thing. Same thing for me when I get back on program. Keep up the good work and the blogging. I’m rooting for you!

    • Thanks Kathie. On this program you do not get any solid foods, if I understood them right, for 16 weeks. I could be wrong. Keep me posted on how you are doing. 🙂 Praying we both beat this monster this time.

  3. What a day at the dr’s. Everybody was very pleasant and genuinely encouraging. They should be great to work with. Not sure I can say the same about being on a liquid diet for several months. ;0)

    Go gittem girl!

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