Frustration … making me wait


Some Days

Today has been a little odd to say the least.  I have been completely off.

My blood pressure has been unusually low.  This is a good thing, but who knows what will need to be adjusted.  I don’t feel right.

I went out for a walk/jog because the weather was quite fine out, and, a few minutes into the walk, I developed what felt like a dehydration headache?!?!?  What in the WORLD IS UP with that?? I had a drink with me.  I came to the conclusion much later that it was most likely my fluid pill.

I cut my walk/jog short, came home (concern over doing things), and dove into some of my household chores–Planting my herbs and flowers to be exact–where I could come out of the heat if I needed to.  I also kept my water bottle full.  We managed to make a bit of head way on refreshing the deck.  There is a LOT left to do with refreshing the deck — pressure washing and staining and re-screening the porch to name a few.

Oh … I am just not a happy camper today.  I am NOT excited about tomorrow.  Pretty sure I am going to have gained.  I can’t get the food thing right, and I am just not in the mood to deal with this once having gotten so close to my goal.   Optifast Loser said all kinds of funny things about how I do all this activity–that gave me a laugh–and he says that I am never angry.  I am VERY ANGRY Right now.

So Angry that I am not sure what to say or do.  I wanted to throw huge fits all over my house when dinner got messed up.  I drank a shake, but still I am about 4 hundred calories over because I didn’t make it to dance or my other activities that were planned.

You know the saying, if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.  Well … honestly, all I want to do is yell curse words very loudly.  You know the really offensive words.  I want to throw objects and break things.  I am NOT going to do it right now, because it would just be too messy, and my throat would be sore, but it is how I feel.

I think I am going to go for a ride, or maybe a walk/jog … something so that maybe I will be civil with those nice folks who are going to tell me that I have done well and not to lose hope.  I kinda wish I could have been closer to my goal before we added all this food back in — it is just way too confusing to my body — and Discouraging to my mind.

blah …. blah … blah … maybe I will better in a bit … S

AFTER BIKING UPDATE:

I am not quite as crabby.  There are just a LOT of things hanging over my head, and not really being able to lose right now is like icing on a VERY NASTY cake.  I know we will figure this stuff out (see how biking will make your mind shift to a hope gear?), and I will keep moving forward.  I have to tell you that I LOVE being more active.  I love getting to where I can jog/walk 2 miles now, and there is the juicy fun fact that I can ride the hills in our neighborhood.  So … I am going to get up early and maybe … just for good measure … I am going to walk–maybe jog–in the AM before my weigh in to keep my attitude in a positive incline.  🙂

Tomorrow I am going to work on taking some pics to show you how I have moved on in size and shaping even when I am not moving the scales.  Promise the mad girl will be kept in check …. most days.  Cuz I LOVE being 60 pounds lighter.  🙂

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17 thoughts on “Frustration … making me wait

  1. Two bits of advice from OptifastLoser — I get those headaches all the time. I am not sure if it is water or if your body is saying it needs some rest. If you can — get some sleep. The best way to get though a rough patch is try to take a nap to let the time go by…. The other is to do something like watch a movie or read something. For me, I just need to get the time to past.

    Second bit of advice is to talk to them at your meeting about going back on the fast — even for a week or two weeks. We have had several people in our group do this. One woman told them she needed a few weeks to get re-connected to her weight loss another person said that they did not reach their goal and did not want a soft landing. They wanted to get to their goal weight and then go a little below on the re-feeding. This enabled them to be a few pounds below their goal as a buffer. But I would consider trying that because you are concerned about hitting that number and it is hard to do that on maintenance…

    I hope this helps…

    • You being there helps immensely OL! I will most likely be doing what these ladies have done. I can’t handle this … getting so close to flat line.

      I will be considering your suggestions. In fact they are on the list of things I plan to talk with my Dr. about in an e-mail this very evening. Thanks for your funny post about my life. It has made me smile a LOT over the last few days … especially today.

      Thanks for being there and being so encouraging. It means the world because I know you are right in there with me. 🙂

  2. Ohhhhh I am so with you on those cranky days – you’re never ever alone! On those days all you need to do is sit down and start at the beginning of your blog – trust me it helps – when you see in front of your how far you have come – this is such an amazing weight loss tool to keep you motivated and inspired! I’m thinking of you today on those scales – it doesn’t matter if you gain a little, stay the same, loose some – what matters is that no matter…. YOU KEEP GOING!!!! Will be looking out for your weigh in up date 🙂 xxx

    • Thanks Dizi. You are so right that it does help to have the blog and the pictures to look back on and see the progress. Oh and the almost empty closet. 🙂 Thanks for the kind words. It such a blessing to have buds to go through this with. 🙂

  3. Turn on your favorite music and sing at the top of your lungs… then take Kelly’s advice. All of it, from top to bottom. Sometimes asking the Lord to fix my cranky self does the trick. Other times, breathing deeply and asking the Lord to fix my cranky self does the trick. And sometimes, well, I need a nap.

    No matter what the mostly rude little scale says tomorrow, I think you should go to the store and reward yourself for the consistency you’ve shown throughout this entire process. Buy yourself an article of clothing to replace stuff you’ve shrunk out of. (Yeah!) Put up a before/after photo and keep reminding yourself how far you’ve come. Sometimes we can’t see the blasted forest for the trees… don’t isolate your focus on what’s ahead, forgetting what you’ve left behind. Celebrate where you’ve come from and anticipate where you’re going. Keep reminding yourself of just how much you have accomplished… because you have!

    I know that sounds like a bunch of touchy-feely, nice-speak. Well, sort of. It’s all true, and it’s so easy to forget! We get distracted and frustrated that we haven’t yet reached our goal. Don’t let it discourage you because you’re a rock star! How else do you explain sticking with this goofy meal plan for any length of time and foregoing Mexican food. Need I say more?! 😉

    I’ll check in on you later… I know what funks are like when they strike. I have no doubt you’ll rebound with a vengeance!

      • Beth … you are right about the Cat photo. I just love it though. So shows how I feel. A very bad, terrible, horrible day.

    • Thanks Beth for believing in me. I need people to believe in me when I am having trouble with myself. It make life so much nicer. When you see people rooting for you and saying you can … it helps you believe that you can.

      Mom (Kelly) is often right about these things. I am going to try to follow both of your advice and continue breathing. I am not sure I can sing just yet, but I will get there. I know I will ride or jog this evening so that my heart will have happy endorphins to fall to sleep with. Life will return to good. Thanks for thinking I had a good idea to rejoice in where I have come from … if you could call what I am doing rejoicing. I know sometimes even rejoicing is by faith and not by sight or feelings. So … I rejoice with my mouth even though my feelers don’t get it yet. I am always an overcomer in him who loved me. No matter the outcome of earthy events. 🙂

      • When I don’t “feel” joyful about my situation, I keep reminding myself of my accomplishments. Eventually, the “feelings” decide to join the rest of the team and *am* joyful and content with where I’m at. Me and my impatience! It’s taken me a year (and I’ve still got that last bit to go), but that goal of wearing a seriously awesome dress to the wedding next month is looming in the near future and achievable… now if I didn’t have crooked legs (they bow in, instead of out like normal bowlegged folk do). Oh well, I can’t have everything! 😉

  4. The cat was an appropriate picture. It was definitely a weird-feeling day. The bike ride seemed to help–as usual. 🙂 Thank God for our little slice of happiness!

  5. don’t know that there is anything i can say – so… just breathe… and then, breathe again… and, maybe, lean into His grace? sorry for this bit of bumpy – 🙂

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