Today has been a little odd to say the least. I have been completely off.
My blood pressure has been unusually low. This is a good thing, but who knows what will need to be adjusted. I don’t feel right.
I went out for a walk/jog because the weather was quite fine out, and, a few minutes into the walk, I developed what felt like a dehydration headache?!?!? What in the WORLD IS UP with that?? I had a drink with me. I came to the conclusion much later that it was most likely my fluid pill.
I cut my walk/jog short, came home (concern over doing things), and dove into some of my household chores–Planting my herbs and flowers to be exact–where I could come out of the heat if I needed to. I also kept my water bottle full. We managed to make a bit of head way on refreshing the deck. There is a LOT left to do with refreshing the deck — pressure washing and staining and re-screening the porch to name a few.
Oh … I am just not a happy camper today. I am NOT excited about tomorrow. Pretty sure I am going to have gained. I can’t get the food thing right, and I am just not in the mood to deal with this once having gotten so close to my goal. Optifast Loser said all kinds of funny things about how I do all this activity–that gave me a laugh–and he says that I am never angry. I am VERY ANGRY Right now.
So Angry that I am not sure what to say or do. I wanted to throw huge fits all over my house when dinner got messed up. I drank a shake, but still I am about 4 hundred calories over because I didn’t make it to dance or my other activities that were planned.
You know the saying, if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. Well … honestly, all I want to do is yell curse words very loudly. You know the really offensive words. I want to throw objects and break things. I am NOT going to do it right now, because it would just be too messy, and my throat would be sore, but it is how I feel.
I think I am going to go for a ride, or maybe a walk/jog … something so that maybe I will be civil with those nice folks who are going to tell me that I have done well and not to lose hope. I kinda wish I could have been closer to my goal before we added all this food back in — it is just way too confusing to my body — and Discouraging to my mind.
blah …. blah … blah … maybe I will better in a bit … S
AFTER BIKING UPDATE:
I am not quite as crabby. There are just a LOT of things hanging over my head, and not really being able to lose right now is like icing on a VERY NASTY cake. I know we will figure this stuff out (see how biking will make your mind shift to a hope gear?), and I will keep moving forward. I have to tell you that I LOVE being more active. I love getting to where I can jog/walk 2 miles now, and there is the juicy fun fact that I can ride the hills in our neighborhood. So … I am going to get up early and maybe … just for good measure … I am going to walk–maybe jog–in the AM before my weigh in to keep my attitude in a positive incline. 🙂
Tomorrow I am going to work on taking some pics to show you how I have moved on in size and shaping even when I am not moving the scales. Promise the mad girl will be kept in check …. most days. Cuz I LOVE being 60 pounds lighter. 🙂