Weigh In #17


Am I a LOSER or a GAINER?

Not even gonna try to build interest or suspense … nothing to tell.  I flat lined.  I am so over this transition and NO real weight loss.  To top off my great morning they couldn’t get the blood to come out of my arm — just dug around in it really good.  After that they asked me how I was feeling and I started crying.  Those of you who know me KNOW I don’t cry.  I did today.

I am not ready to deal with all this crap. I am doing the work — eating the plan — I should (insert favorite swear word) get the results!  No, I was not perfect, but no one ever is.  There were times this last week that I had to pick the best choices in a situation.  Having said that I will dial it all back again.  I want to get to goal before struggling through all of this.  I have lost 2.5 pounds over the last 3 weeks.  I am beyond frustrated.  They asked me what I wanted to do and I couldn’t even think clearly enough to answer the question.  I know what I want to do now and I am going to write Dr. Ard about it later today.  I will fill you in on what exactly he thinks we should do.  I have to tell you I am over playing around with this.  If I was 5 or 10 pounds from goal I would be fine with playing around, but not 47 pounds left — yep — still got 47 pounds to go and it is three weeks later.

OptiFast Loser made a comment that I am considering, about people who are going back on full formula.  I am seriously thinking of doing that, while cutting back on my workouts.  I loved getting to eat, but I want to lose more than I want food.  I will wait to see what Dr. Ard says to do.  My Fat Mass has come down from 85.5 to 84.0; my Muscle Mass has gone up from 109.5 to 111.0; and my fluid rose up from 80.0 to 81.5.  The Trainer Adam said that I need to stay focused and keep moving because muscle that I build will hold more water than fat does which will reflect in no weight loss.

My Daughter tried to make me laugh today ... it didn't work to well ... but as you can see the black pants fit well.

I actually know and understand this intellectually.  I realize that I am physically smaller because I can wear the black pants comfortably now, when I could not until the end of last week.  So even though I have not registered a loss in weight–my body has reduced in size.  All this helps in the head, but my emotions are still not able to process these cold hard facts to find joy.  I just want to cry.

Will I quit?  NO!  Will I stay in a funk?  NO!  I will do what ever I have to do to lose.  I am grateful to OptiFast for how far that I have come, and I feel sure the Docs at UAB will help me turn my frown upside down.  I just have to make it through this adjustment period.  I know I will make it.  How do I know?  Because I do NOT believe in quitting and Dr. Ard isn’t a quitter either.  I will find hope … somewhere.

When I got home my Sophie girl and her mama were there.  Sophia started jumping and wiggling and giggling for me to hold her, so I unloaded my arms and picked her up.  Those little tiny baby arms wrapped around my neck were divine.   Sophia squealing and behaving as if I was a great prize that she had just won was the best feeling on the planet — Love is how I am going to make it. My daughter and the sweet girl up at UAB said I looked like I needed a hug and they were both right.  I did, and bad. They both refreshed my soul.

I couldn’t get through to my hubby to talk with him after my bad news.  This makes me more antsy than I know how to express. I know Mike is working and this is important if we want to eat, I just needed to talk with him.  Conversing with Mikey makes rainy days sunny just like Sophie girl’s face does.  Just after my girls lifted my spirits and I was headed into my room to write this blog, Mikey called.  My heart rejoiced and I cried again as I relived my not so fun moment with my best friend.  His voice is my comfort food … he is good for my soul.  Ever the cheerleader … he told me how we would do this and told me over and over how great I was doing.  All my family is standing with me and constantly offering great words of encouragement and sometimes they work overtime to make you laugh or smile.

I won’t mention the family member who sent me copious goofy e-mails by name, and I won’t make you listen to all that was shared, But I had to share with you a bit of advice for people over the age of 50.  This quirky piece of advice caused a good-ol-whopping belly laugh to rise out of me on such a dreary day.  I needed that.  Thanks unnamed family member for the funny e-mails that made me laugh.  I have to say that these are some pretty sound bits of advice ….

Most importantly, Always remember and never forget …never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 

Well … hope it made you smile.  This made me smile:

Christmas 2010 Before Starting the Program

If one takes the time to look ... one can always find something to smile about. I did. 🙂

Blessings …. and I will be back with a smile … hopefully tomorrow … looks like I already did …S

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18 thoughts on “Weigh In #17

  1. Aw, Shonnie… what a day you had! I think there comes a time when we do the only self-respecting thing a girl *can* do… we cry. Just don’t focus on it!

    You’re feisty, hilarious, and, as you so eloquently noted, loved. My biggest reward for weight loss has been the expression on the faces of my brother and sister-in-law back home. Your reward is the pride of your family at all you’ve accomplished. Let’s face it, without our loved ones backing us up 200%, we’d be screwed! And we’ll both continue toward our respective goals, if only to see the glow on their faces when they see what we’ve done.

    Going back on full formula isn’t the end of the world. It was *much* easier for me the second time around. Granted, I would’ve reached my end goal about three weeks faster if I’d stayed on full formula for three additional weeks this last time. But my clinic works in strict six-week chunks so I made the wiser choice for my situation. Dr. Ard will help you figure it out, but if you go back to full formula, there are a lot of us who will cheer you on as you shed the weight through determination and commitment.

    And next time you’re having a terrible, no good, very bad day, sit and have a long philosophical discussion with your Sophie-girl! The little, bright-eyed munchkins in our lives make everything all better all the time.

    Beth

    P.S. Sophie-girl is bigger and you’re smaller… I think she’s a team player, supportin’ her grandma any way she can!

    • Beth, I remember reading this comment and crying. You are such a sweetheart. How I never commented on this … I will never know. I know your words moved me beyond expression. Thank you for always have a good word in season. You are a blessing. Love and blessings … Shonnie

  2. I hope the Doc man lets you go back on… I think it is the quickest way to get to goal.
    (if not, I have some extra shake I can pass your way!)
    There are many reasons you may have flatlined…. Breathe….
    I, as well as all the others on here, are on your side!

    • Thanks OL! I believe he can and will. I just have to hang in there while we get things restarted. I just want to make it to goal … like your buddies in class said … don’t give me no soft landing! I’m just sayin’ lets blow the doors off. 😉

  3. It is awesome to me how you are hanging in there, how fixed on your goal you are, and how you come back fighting when you get knocked down. With that approach and all the support you have in your corner, YOU WILL WIN!!!

  4. Okay – you knew it would happen eventually and it has but you also know it wont beat you – you’ll be beating it – mighty hard I would say!!! 🙂 These kind of moments really do get to us – there is only one thing worse for the dieter than staying the same and that’s gaining (I’ve done both!) but all you have to do is look at those amazing photos – you are GORGEOUS!!! You have come so far and you’ve achieved so much in such a little space of time! Eating real food is the biggest challenge without a doubt – everything that goes into it, thinking about it, buying it, cooking it, eating it, clearing up after it – and we have to do this several times a day!!! Part of this experience is learning to eat food again – in a rational way – without anxiety and not looking to get more from it than it can possibly give – i.e. it’s fuel not love!

    You’re my total inspiration! I’m so proud to ‘know’ you!!! 🙂 xxx

    • Thanks so much Dizi. This has been a hard week or so. Many, many challenges to face.

      I think I have tackled too many changes for me to deal with effectively. I am also going to talk with Dr. Ard about what Mike and I believe are absorption problems. It has been a concern of one of my docs previously that I am not absorbing nutrients from my food well. I have the flaky chipping teeth of a person who has had the Gastric By-Pass surgery and I have never had it. I was able to stop the damage to my teeth by consuming liquid and chewable vitamins. I am not sure if or what kind of testing can be done for that. Mike feels this is why I was able to lose so well on the liquid diet–I was able to absorb what my body needed for fuel. We are kind of concerned that maybe when I eat normal “real” food I may not be getting the needed fuel.

      Thanks so much for your kind words. It is so nice to KNOW you too! I knew I would need you one day … thanks for being there!! 🙂 You are right … I will kick back hard. I have come too far. Checkin’ you out soon. 🙂

  5. Wow, I must say that I feel your pain. I’ve been feeling the same exact way for sometime now, and I don’t know what to do about it. Dr. Ard was suppose to up the dosage on my fluid pills, but I haven’t been to clinic in I think about two weeks. I pray that next week will be more of a success for you and for me.

    • Nesha, I know … that YOU KNOW how I am feeling. I missed you today. Next week I will probably come in later so if I miss you … Know I am rooting for you. I believe they will get us worked out. 🙂

  6. Shonnie,

    WOW……I want you to take a moment and really look at these photos. You have not only lost weight….You have Lost 10 or more years of Age. You are doing an AWESOME Job. I know you may be flat-lined right now…..But, you have come a very long way. I can even see a difference since Chris’s funeral…..Keep It Up Pretty Lady….I Love You.

    ps….The joke made me laugh out loud for real…..It sounds like something my unnamed uncle would tell my mom….lol

    • Thanks Lena girl. You are too sweet. Love you bunches. Thanks for all the kind words, they help A LOT! Yeah … I bet you can guess who the unnamed realative is. hehe (his name has been kept secret to protect his diginity–unless he chooses to reveal it.)

  7. Do not get discouraged! Dr. Ard KNOWS HIS STUFF…he will figure out a new plan for you. Just trust in the staff at UAB, Shonnie. You look wonderful, everybody can tell that you feel better…..just keep on keeping on!

    • Thanks Donna. It has just been a very hard week. One too many things to deal with. I will be writing Dr. Ard here in just a bit to get this ball rolling. Until then … I am shakin’ it up around here! 🙂

  8. You look incredible!! Do NOT let the scale dictate how you feel or who you are; remember you are burning fat, not lean muscle, and are back to working out again, so it’s that the scale does not tell you your actual fat loss. So imagine your body being a furnace, burning that fat, keeping that lean muscle, and you will again be smiling because it is TRUE~

    • Thanks BARB! You are such an encourager. Thank you so much for being there. Today was a very hard day. I am holding what you said dear to my heart and counting that it is TRUE! 🙂 Blessings sweet friend.

  9. OH MY GOSH!!! What a difference from Christmas to May! You go girl!! You are looking fanTAStic!!! (But whether you’re heavy or thin, I love who you are!)

    • Thanks Beth. You are a complete Doll. I love you too … for the same reason … I just can’t help myself where you are concerned. 🙂

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