Not even gonna try to build interest or suspense … nothing to tell. I flat lined. I am so over this transition and NO real weight loss. To top off my great morning they couldn’t get the blood to come out of my arm — just dug around in it really good. After that they asked me how I was feeling and I started crying. Those of you who know me KNOW I don’t cry. I did today.
I am not ready to deal with all this crap. I am doing the work — eating the plan — I should (insert favorite swear word) get the results! No, I was not perfect, but no one ever is. There were times this last week that I had to pick the best choices in a situation. Having said that I will dial it all back again. I want to get to goal before struggling through all of this. I have lost 2.5 pounds over the last 3 weeks. I am beyond frustrated. They asked me what I wanted to do and I couldn’t even think clearly enough to answer the question. I know what I want to do now and I am going to write Dr. Ard about it later today. I will fill you in on what exactly he thinks we should do. I have to tell you I am over playing around with this. If I was 5 or 10 pounds from goal I would be fine with playing around, but not 47 pounds left — yep — still got 47 pounds to go and it is three weeks later.
OptiFast Loser made a comment that I am considering, about people who are going back on full formula. I am seriously thinking of doing that, while cutting back on my workouts. I loved getting to eat, but I want to lose more than I want food. I will wait to see what Dr. Ard says to do. My Fat Mass has come down from 85.5 to 84.0; my Muscle Mass has gone up from 109.5 to 111.0; and my fluid rose up from 80.0 to 81.5. The Trainer Adam said that I need to stay focused and keep moving because muscle that I build will hold more water than fat does which will reflect in no weight loss.
I actually know and understand this intellectually. I realize that I am physically smaller because I can wear the black pants comfortably now, when I could not until the end of last week. So even though I have not registered a loss in weight–my body has reduced in size. All this helps in the head, but my emotions are still not able to process these cold hard facts to find joy. I just want to cry.
Will I quit? NO! Will I stay in a funk? NO! I will do what ever I have to do to lose. I am grateful to OptiFast for how far that I have come, and I feel sure the Docs at UAB will help me turn my frown upside down. I just have to make it through this adjustment period. I know I will make it. How do I know? Because I do NOT believe in quitting and Dr. Ard isn’t a quitter either. I will find hope … somewhere.
When I got home my Sophie girl and her mama were there. Sophia started jumping and wiggling and giggling for me to hold her, so I unloaded my arms and picked her up. Those little tiny baby arms wrapped around my neck were divine. Sophia squealing and behaving as if I was a great prize that she had just won was the best feeling on the planet — Love is how I am going to make it. My daughter and the sweet girl up at UAB said I looked like I needed a hug and they were both right. I did, and bad. They both refreshed my soul.
I couldn’t get through to my hubby to talk with him after my bad news. This makes me more antsy than I know how to express. I know Mike is working and this is important if we want to eat, I just needed to talk with him. Conversing with Mikey makes rainy days sunny just like Sophie girl’s face does. Just after my girls lifted my spirits and I was headed into my room to write this blog, Mikey called. My heart rejoiced and I cried again as I relived my not so fun moment with my best friend. His voice is my comfort food … he is good for my soul. Ever the cheerleader … he told me how we would do this and told me over and over how great I was doing. All my family is standing with me and constantly offering great words of encouragement and sometimes they work overtime to make you laugh or smile.
I won’t mention the family member who sent me copious goofy e-mails by name, and I won’t make you listen to all that was shared, But I had to share with you a bit of advice for people over the age of 50. This quirky piece of advice caused a good-ol-whopping belly laugh to rise out of me on such a dreary day. I needed that. Thanks unnamed family member for the funny e-mails that made me laugh. I have to say that these are some pretty sound bits of advice ….
Most importantly, Always remember and never forget …never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Well … hope it made you smile. This made me smile:
Blessings …. and I will be back with a smile … hopefully tomorrow … looks like I already did …S