Good morning …


I hope that your day is as sunny as mine.  The air is cool and crisp, perfect for a morning walk.  Yep … you got that right … I hit the pavement.  Even though it is chilly, the sun is warm, and it didn’t take me long to shed my sweater, but then I tend to run hot … um … I mean I get hot easily.

In case you are wondering, No, I have not heard back from the doc.  Why?  That is because I kinda passed out last night and didn’t write anything or anybody.  It was sort-a-sudden like.  That was probably a good thing, given my generally funky mental state most of the day yesterday.  I can think clearly today and can ask all the questions I need to have answers for.

I have to take a momment to express that I am surrounded with the best family and friends in the world.  What a showering of encouragement I received yesterday … oh my … am I blessed. That’s old news … so on with today.

Still struggling to wrap my arms around 3 pounds of muscle gain and 1.5 pounds of fluid gain.  The fat mass loss is easy to grasp.  The 3 pounds of muscle just seems like a LOT.  I know my legs don’t jiggle anymore so they say it is possible … so I am going with that for a place to stand in victory.  That I have gained muscle.  OOPS … I am back on semi-old news again!  Sorry!  I think my brain is stuck in yesterday.

Well … just a few minutes ago I received a new loseit.com badge … not that I live for badges … but I got another one for burning it up.

loseit.com badge for burnin' up the calories my second

This is how the message read: You have earned the On Fire badge! You have burned an amazing amount of calories for 4 weeks in a row. Well, we know how that has worked out for me … NADA, ZIPO, ZERO pounds lost this week and a paltry 2.5 pounds reward for all of the 3 weeks of burnin’ up my calories.  Sounds like to me my body thinks it is starving and doesn’t want to use up them calories to me.  I know … I am back at the past again.  Dang it, I keep trying to move on to today.  It is hard.  Yesterday looms in my mind like the proverbial axe waiting to fall, ever pressing on my mind with fear.

Here is the loseit.com badge I got last week for heating up my workouts. Wow! I should be melting away, but it doesn't work that way with me. 😦

I have to explain something here.  Not because any of you have said anything unkind, but for myself, and for those who might misunderstand why I am afraid.  This isn’t an unreasonable fear, nor is it based on emotion.  This is a fear based on understanding how my body works in a bizarre and unusual fashion.  I am not a negative person.  I don’t have doubts about myself or in my commitment.  When I have fear, it isn’t that I think Dr. Ard doesn’t know his stuff, or that I will start being lazy, or that I will go on a huge binge of eating.  My weight loss problems are physiological, not psychological, and not behavioral.  My body doesn’t seem to get what it needs from the food I eat.  Mike is convinced the liquid diet is why I lost — my body wasn’t hungry, so it let the stores go.   Maybe he is on to something; I don’t know.  We are going to have to check that out (because Mike isn’t going to shut up until I do check it out–If you are reading this Dr. Ard, help me out here). Most people on OptiFast add in exercising, and they start dropping major pounds.  I start burning up the calories, and my body starts conserving fat stores.  The UAB Trainer, Adam, told me to hold on and said my body just seems to interpret heavy exercise as I am starving.  I realize that the time has come to find out why these things happen in my body.  I have the right Doc to do it with too. Thanks for listening to my rant … now, on with today.

Love the Green of Spring! Don't you? 🙂 This is a baby hill in my hood. 🙂

Back to my run this morning, (Which will take me back to yesterday in a second.  Just wait and see.) It felt good to walk/jog outside in the daylight with the sun shining on my face.  I don’t know why, but it makes me incredibly happy.  I love being outside and moving.  I know … I know … I said I would be cutting back, yesterday (see I told you), but I didn’t do the full 3 miles, just the 1.85 and for only 30 minutes.  My plan is to have short bursts of activity every other day, then on the odd days I will go for an hour or so … somedays I will go for 5 or more continuous hours of exercise and see if this doesn’t help me.  It kills me because I am so ready to rebuild my arms and get rid of this flabby mess I have.  Still, I want to make it to goal.  So, I am gonna keep ratcheting it down until I find what will work while on transition — if it won’t work — gonna petition the Docs to go back on full formula.  🙂

I know it is a bit worbally (I know that isn't a word), but I was jogging so I am not skilled at this jog and picture taking yet.

I gotta plan.  That makes me feel better.  I got on the scale this AM and weighed a pound less … if I can only hold on to that, I will be a happy camper!  Blessings y’all ….S

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7 thoughts on “Good morning …

  1. Now here’s the lady I admire so much. The I’m-not-gonna-let-this-get-me-down-because-I’m-going-to-kick-this-thing-in-the-butt mentality (like all the hyphens?). I worked with a trainer for six months, well before I attempted to lose weight. She drilled it into me that developing the muscle would, in the long run, help to burn additional calories. The only caveat is you either stagnate on the scale or gain weight, both outcomes are a little less than desirable. I’m gearing up to try to work my arms up a little. After all, if I’m willing to try sleeveless dresses in the near future I’ve got to get these things looking a little better.

    But I’m with Mike on his theory regarding the plan and weight loss. Every third person who nosily grilled me about how I lost weight felt the need to tell me that 800 calories a day is starvation and I should be dying (ignorant busybodies!). I, on the other hand, knowing I’d never been able to shed weight with increased exercise, portion control, and three major weight loss programs, thought something this drastic would do the trick. If you’re psyched up and Dr. Ard clears it, I say go for it! And then set a goal for a seriously awesome dress to dance in around Christmas! That should give you plenty of time to lose the weight, tone up everything and find the *perfect* dress. And then I want pictures!

    Beth

    • It is OK for you to plug your blog with me. I have even shared it on my FB page — Diary of an angry fat woman. Feel free to like that page and share it there as well. I don’t have a LOT of “likes” on it yet, but it shows on my page and I have lots of buddies. =D

    • You know … I just can’t stand a rainy day mindset. I always look for a way to claim a win, no matter what the situation maybe. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

  2. I am proud of you. I know I am biased, but you are inspirational. You get kicked in the stomach one day; you step back and re-plan, and the next day you are out kicking butt yet again. You know you are going to win, don’t you! 😀

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