No thongs, PLEASE!

Da' Pool!

Today, I decided to go for a swim at the Y.  I found one of my way too small bathing suits.  Viola!  I could now go for a swim.  I strapped myself into the suit on Monday, and checked to see how much better it would fit.  Ah … um … well … it was only slightly baggy in the chest area, but I could fix that by crossing the straps.   Ok, only sort of fix that, BUT I was sure I was in NO danger of coming out.  The legs were just a tad loose but should be fine.  I wasn’t going to do any canon balls or high dives, just a few laps.  I swam on Monday just fine … only a few problems.

I knew I would have to be careful how I came up out of the water.  Obviously, I was MUCH larger across the chest and back previously, and the twins kept trying to escape, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle … On Monday.  So much for thinking this wouldn’t be a problem.  I hadn’t taken into account buoyancy. The legs did pretty well … on Monday … so, I felt safe to go for another quick swim today.  Hahahahaha!  Well … think again.

What was left of the elasticity vanished when I got into the water today. The twins were harder to keep in check, and then in mid stroke, with a male life guard watching my bathing suit abandoned covering my rear and became a THONG!  I don’t have a rear for a thong!  I don’t want to look at thongs on girls behinds that are gorgeous and perfectly fit.  On me???? YUCK!  In mid-pool you can’t stop stroking to correct the wedgey — I’m just sayin’ … That suit is GARBAGE!  I know we don’t live in Abu Dhabi, but I ain’t showin’ my rear, nor wearin’ NO THONGS!  YUCK!  YUCK!  And Double YUCK!

Don’t worry there won’t be a picture of my request, (No thongs Please).  Whew!  We can all breathe easier now. I will never put you through such a sight!  Promise.

Now, that I have recovered from my trauma with my suit … a Wonderful problem to have I might add … I am going to take Sophie girl shopping for a NEW suit for Ami!  Just sayin’ — grammies gotta keep her rear and chest covered to feel good about herself.  I love having this problem.  It just keeps surprising me daily … my nice new size-14-fit-me-tightly shorts from Banana Republic are almost too big on me.  The few pants that I own now have become baggy and ill fitting, and my shirts that were tight fitting are now loosey goosey. Yea!?!?  I love losing, but I like to collect clothing. This is a no-can-do right now.  Gotta get my mind around that.  I have to reprogram my brain to understand this is a no collecting clothing Transition.  I need to start to catch Dizi Daisy’s fever and enjoy the whole new clothes shopping thing. I hear Beth and Dizi in my head telling me: “Go shopping.” “Reward yourself with something yummy” (Clothing–NOT food). I am working on it girls!  I like building a wardrobe, I will have to let that go and … well … guess it is time to hit the consignment shop again.  Heck, maybe the thrift store, then I wouldn’t feel so bad about dumping them once a month.  🙂

Well … off to find a swim suit … not going “used” for that that purchase (gentle or otherwise used is a NO-GO) … just sayin’.  🙂

Have a great rest of your day ……S


25 thoughts on “No thongs, PLEASE!

    • Thanks Cruz girl! You are one funny lady–very nice compliment. Love reading your blog. Thanks for stopping by and shouting out to me. Glad to make you smile. 🙂

  1. Hilarious!!! That’s why I am going to Goodwill throughout my weight loss!! Go get you a great fitting swimsuit for $3.99.

    • Girl … I am about to start hitting them for clothes for the time being. It just pains me to get too small to wear the nice things I buy, but I LOVE getting smaller. Somethin has ta give. 🙂

  2. Oh. My. Gosh. So here I am AT WORK, sitting in the break room with my computer, catching up on email and blogs on my laptop when I read this… I was shaking because I was laughing so hard. This is hilarious! Probably more so because I completely relate to the modesty issues involving the girls (or my “shelf” as they are affectionately called), swimsuits, and thongs (no way, Jose!). Hi-lar-i-ous! Whew. Nice endorphins pumping through my system now.

    I’m planning to go shopping for a new swimsuit in the next week or so because I’ll be SoCal just as the weather gets really warm… I already got rid of mine because it was GINORMOUS! Now for a newer, smaller suit. Woohoo! With a coverup so’s I don’t blind everyone with my glow-in-the-dark self. They’ll think there are two suns. No bueno!

    • Beth, I got your reply on my phone and I giggled thinking about you reading this while at work. Glad to give you a laugh. Life’s little annoyances should be laughed at! I’m just sayin’. 🙂

  3. That was funny…. Just remember, no matter how bad you may have thought you looked, those lifeguards have to look at fat guys in Speedos all day — And there is nothing worse than that!

  4. Haha!!! I need to go ‘swimming’ again with my grandkids! Only trouble is I can’t actually swim but even being in the water is good! Fabulous shrinkage there 😉 lol xxx

  5. Oh my God, I’m laughing so hard. I started reading your latest post but could not get past “I strapped myself into the suit” and that was all she wrote for me. Good read!

    • Thanks FG! I am glad to make you laugh. We have to laugh at these moments, because being ashamed or overly embarrassed just isn’t in the cards. 🙂

  6. Oh Shonnie – you crack me up! Congrats on the body shrinkage. The more weight you lose, the more shopping you can do. Isn’t that what you girls LOVE to do? 🙂

    • Haha Thanks Danny O! I guess you didn’t read that bit yesterday about my testosterone being a tad higher than the normal gal. 😉 I like collecting clothes … not running through them like a water flowing under a bridge. Still … a VERY Nice problem to have. I will figure a way to struggle through. But that suit is gone!

  7. Congrats for your pants fitting better! That is one of the best feelings to accomplish. As traumatic as your pool story probably was at the time, it was quite humorous to read. Thanks for sharing =).

    • Thanks Brittany … I had to hop over and check your blog out. Thanks for stopping by and leaving me with some nice words. 🙂 See you around for sure.

  8. Yes, a nice NEW bathing suit, heck, even go on Victoria’s Secret dot com; LOL, they have wonderful things, in all sizes I’m assuming. I don’t have the blessing of boobs, so I have to find something which helps me there. And yet, I hate, hate, hate padding. *sigh* We all have body parts we don’t like to see revealed for summer!

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