This morning began with a late wake up and a brisk walk.
It continued with my retiring to my screened porch, with me listening to the birds chirp (and it was extremely peaceful until my dogs started barking at something), and relaxing in the dappled sunlight that gently reaches through the screen, just bright enough to keep life cheery–not hot. Yes, I wax sentimental, but I love solitude, and today I am wallowing around in the joy of the moment. I get so few these days, and soon this moment will fade, until I hop on my bike, or go for a swim.
No sooner than I wrote those few lines did the sanctity of my solitude end abruptly. 😦
Actually, it was really O.K. Mike came in and gave me a kiss; Onnie arrived with Sophie girl, and we chatted for a bit, and then I escaped to take a LONG shower. Solitude reactivated–for another moment. Then, it was time for my shot, my patch, my creams, and to play on the floor with the baby girl. Now, hours later, I am back on the porch finishing up this post. Again, I savor this time listening to an accomplished artist play his acoustic guitar on my iTunes, and the birds must like the song too, because they keep singing, “Pretty, Pretty.”
There is something revitalizing about sitting out on this deck staring at the many shades of green, and the flowers blooming on the deck. The ceiling fan provides a constant gentle breeze, as I sit typing away, droning on to you, concerning my favorite (everyday) get away spot. I am sure you are wondering why in the Heck is she talking about a porch on a Fat Blog. Well, because they teach us at the EatRight clinic and OptiFast to deal with all the parts of our person that contribute to weight gain. In my case, stress is a MAJOR factor of weight retention. The deck is decompression therapy for me. My life has a LARGE amount of stress built into everyday just getting by, before the odd problem interrupts.
Before I continue explaining the stress, you should know, my life is NOT bad, and I count myself a very blessed woman, but there is constant stress. For starters, we own our own business — I think that speaks for itself. Everyone knows that owning your own business is stressful. We work with family. I know I don’t have to tell you how that can be stressful. We manage it very well, but, when you have a disagreement, the situation can have teeth as old as the persons involved in the discussion. This stressor only relents for my hubby and myself if we leave town. There are no real off hours. Then … we progress to the next layer.
I am the mother of four very wonderful children; in my humble opinion, they are truly Fantastic people and enormous blessings to my life. However, as any parent knows, children are blessed stressors, even when they are mostly grown. I will deal with the larger concerns and move to the lessors. My oldest son, trying to protect his younger autistic brother, ran in front of a car to save his life. He was hit by the car that was aiming at my younger son. He did save the life of his younger brother in more ways than the obvious. Yes, my oldest son is alive, he lives in Alaska–that is a LONG story how he recovered enough to be on his own, after suffering a traumatic brain injury. Those were the nightmare years and another blog fully dedicated to that experience.
The youngest autistic child came out of that event wanting to be a part of our world. Why? He wanted to tell us what happened, so he had to engage us; see there are blessings in life’s most horrific events. Collin had a language explosion after this event. I had prayed for years for him to talk … well … there were times I had a very good laugh at God’s irony. This kid can talk your head off now. Collin was an enormous challenge, but one of the most amazing miracles of my life. He is now in regular high school on grade level or above–he is very intelligent–but not overly social or skilled at normal 16 year old banter. He has had a few skirmishes with bullies this year, and it is often painful for me to watch as other children his age and younger pull away from him out of a distaste for anything that isn’t the “norm.” I don’t really blame them, my heart just aches and breaks each time it happens, because I cannot fix this. I cannot make this go away. I can however work to help him be as smart as he can be. He will be able to get a job and have a good life. This is exactly what I am going to focus on over the next to years; I will work to get him ready for college and life. So, if I have crazier than usual comments and posts — you know why — I’m just sayin’. While on OptiFast, this chica can’t drink–watch out for goofiness. And to answer your question YES, he has progressed from the more-autistic-than-the-average-autistic-child who never spoke, but only screamed, to the place that he will be able to attend college. Yea US! God is good, and so is my family.
My two daughters are amazing and beautiful, inside and out. They both have learning disabilities that we have worked with all through out school. They are both brilliant over-comers. You would be hard pressed to tell if you spoke with either one that these problems exist. The younger daughter’s tourette’s syndrome can sometime create quite interesting experiences for us all. She doesn’t have the cursing humorous/obnoxious type, just a few little ticks, unless she goes under anesthesia, or experiences a great shock like a car wreck. Then, Katie bar the door, cuz anything could happen. Like, after her car wreck, she sat out in the hall waiting to be seen by the docs, and all the while she kept kicking at the doctors and nurses as they walked by while laughing. Thankfully, they understood (We were at the hospital because she appeared to have had a stroke–not–thank God! Just one of the tourette’s ticks in extreme) 🙂
Then, you throw my health issues in the mix and … well … I think you get the picture. Life can be interesting. I bet you understand now why I run, bike, swim, dance, take reformer classes, and keep active in general. If you sit around and stew on stuff, you would just plain blow up! We can’t have that; it would be messy, and the girls would have to clean it up … they wouldn’t appreciate me for that one. For all these reason’s and a few more, I seize everyday given to me, and milk each for all it’s worth.
Life is a gift; beautiful, fragile, and short. Cherish it. Your world can change in a flash. Love those in your life. Enjoy every good thing that comes your way. Dance in the rain, and laugh at obstacles. And when you get a moment to drink in nature and quiet — wallow in it, because today is YOUR day — everyone needs to find peace and calm in their lives. So … that is the reason that I sit on my porch and bask in the solitude and sunshine filtered through the green leaves with the birds as my choir, and feel like a very Blessed Woman indeed. This is also how I follow the docs prescription to relax in a form that doesn’t require exercise to achieve. Thus, releasing the stress my body holds without creating the strain from exercise.