Oh! Shame on you … get your mind out of the gutter …
I’m sitting on a plane for the first time since losing 81.5 pounds. And for the first … time since I gained weight years ago … flying was not a completely terrifying experience for me. I didn’t worry if the seat belt would fit or that I would have to ask for the “FAT PERSON” extender belt. I have actually NEVER used one of those; I just let the belt cut my circulation off. I know, I know, not very bright, but I couldn’t emotionally process the idea of having to get the extender belt. I hated using the onboard restroom. Those things are barley big enough for a toddler. I’m just saying … when ya got a butt ‘n gut as big as Texas, you really don’t like those kind of tight spaces. On this flight, I knew I would not have to worry about sitting next to a stranger. Sitting next to a strangers on a plane is something I don’t like because, in the past, I would have to sit so stiff. Why, you ask? So I would not touch them — I’m kind of weird about touching people. I know, I know, I should get over myself, but I know I won’t. I don’t like snuggling with strange folks,
‘Cuz that’s just how I roll.
On one particularly horrible flight that Mike and I were forced to sit apart, I had to sit next to a very stylish blonde woman who was of course perfectly skinny! She leaned over on her husband as if I had a decease; I forgave her this because I didn’t want to touch her either. On a positive note, it did make more room for me–yeah! I’m sitting there leaning out into the aisle, talking to Mike; feeling miserable and while sitting there–horror of horrors–the arm rest began to rise up! OMG! Devastatingly embarrassing. Just what I wanted, to sit next to a beautiful/skinny woman and have my fat A** cause the arm to rise, quick as lightening I rested my arm on the “arm rest” and held that sucker down the whole flight! My body was bursting at the seams of the seat … sadly, I probably should have purchased an additional seat.
Today, I have made a trip to the onboard restroom, twice even, and it is still tight but I didn’t feel like my rear wiped the walls as I moved about the space. It is hard to call turning in circles moving, but before it was extremely traumatic, today, just unpleasant. I can put the tray table down, Fun, Fun, Fun! It doesn’t have to remain in the upright position for the entire flight, and I am able to use my laptop to type my post–very exciting. I don’t need a seat extender, I have extra seat belt hanging out–totally exciting–I almost feel super skinny because of that! hahah! I can even cross my legs, when I don’t have the tray table down of course, but having the tray table down is a novelty that I must savor to the fullest. Can you hear me giggle like a little girl when I say this? ‘Cuz I am. 🙂
The plane is horribly stuffy and hot, which is odd, because it was cool before we took off. Thank God that I went and got my support hose, even though they are making the trip hotter; I would be sick when I arrived without them. Poor Mikey, he has a lady seated in front of him that wants to lay down and is beating the fire out of his knees. I have to say that I am still having a pleasant flight because I can sit with my tray table down and type my blog. Hehehe!
Well, I guess this is enough for today. Oh, but before I go, did I mention that I can sit with my tray table down, and that my seat belt has extra room?? Hehe … well … I just wanted to be sure that you got the full impact of my exciting situation.