I’m sitting here after a long day of hiking, trying to remember what I wanted to write about the day we floated (I should say shot through) the Royal Gorge. All I can really think about is how stuffy my tummy feels and wondering if I have gained weight. Why am I wondering how much I may have gained? Well, dang it all, I have been starving, and I have been eating. Boo Hiss! Boo Hiss! Boo Hiss!
I know, I know. I am supposed to allow myself to enjoy eating, once in a while, and give myself a break. That is hard for me to do! I could get on here and tell you I am fine with my eating and that I am totally cool with how this week has gone, but I am not. Am I having a good time? OH YEAH! Am I enjoying eating off plan? OH YEAH! It is FAN-Freakin’-TASTIC! I’m just sayin’. That doesn’t mean I am not nervous though, but when am I not nervous about gaining?? Never!
A few of my pictures while eating off plan have been less than fun though. Not that I have looked bad in any of them, just my face has looked larger. If it is a sign that you are losing when your face looks smaller, then it stands to reason that, if it looks bigger, then you are gaining. Boo Hiss! This keeps me thinking about what I will weigh in at 2 days after I return to Alabama from the Mile High State, when I should be enjoying myself and letting loose on the food for just a bit. I HAVE cut loose … yes … I have!
I have eaten a few really good on-my-plan things this week, but mostly I have had amazing H-Burgers, and awesome Bison Burgers at Ted’s Montana Grill, and YUMMY beer battered fish at brewery that I cannot remember the name. We had a very BAD meal last night at restaurant in Estes Park, Colorado, who’s name I will not share (yes, I remember the name) … my tummy hurt me for HOURS. Boo Hiss! This doesn’t even count all the cookies, chips, nuts, dried fruit, bread, cheese, and sandwich meat that I have enjoyed along the way. I had half a glass of wine one night and a whole the other … the whole made me so sick I haven’t even looked at another glass of wine with longing. Yes, I have indulged.
In my defense, I have eaten OptiFast Shakes and watched my added fats. Also, in the activity department … well … lets just say there hasn’t been much sittin’ goin’ on. Unless you count the day we rafted down the category 3, 4, and 5 rapids on the Royal Gorge — it was the FIRST day they would allow anyone to ride that part of the river. Massive High White Water! I was scared out of my mind … more about that later. The first few days we were here, in Colorado, were slower paced. We did drive a bit one day, and we only worked out a little, but walked a lot. The last two days, we have climbed rocks, hiked up to lakes at 10,000+ feet, and followed several water falls to their end … it has been amazing. Needless to say, I have been STARVING! Today, to keep my need to chew in check, I ate a bag of carrots and a bag of sorry celery–trying to stop munching on Cheetos. Still … I was starving and ate again, not Cheetos mind you, but delish fresh cherries and grapes … ok … you pulled it out of me … and cheese and crackers too, and I don’t know how many I ate. I just ate until I wasn’t hungry anymore. No, I wasn’t good!
Enough whining …
Back to our White Water adventure. I was nervous, very nervous, when we rode by the section of river we were to float on our train ride that morning. I grew more and more apprehensious when I learned that this was the first day the state of Colorado would allow anyone to float that portion of the river. If that wasn’t bad enough, maybe being strapped in a body hugging/revealing wetsuit just might have been killer, but I pressed on. Collin was really looking forward to this; moms will do almost anything for their kids. Then, as we chatted with our fellow floaters, I learned that most people were going to the lesser floats–NOT the Royal Gorge. Their eyes would get really big when I mentioned we were — tension started building again. Were we the only idiots? Nope, a whole bus full of idiots showed up just before we boarded. On the ride to the drop off point, you get the safety chat. After the safety chat, I was ready to run back to the hotel room–an hour away. I was shaking; I was so scared. I kept telling Mike I didn’t know if I could do this. Collin kept saying … Mom … it will be fine …
I kept threatening to cuss Mike when we got to the bottom (I threatened much worse if I ended up in the water). I was NEVER so grateful of Donna “the Trainer Nazi” Jones as I was on that float. ((((((HUGS DONNA)))))) On more than one occasion, I put to use the exercises we practice on a regular basis. Thank God, I can loop my feet under a small belt attached to the torture machine and sit on top of a box and bend over and almost touch the floor and come back up … I did that a LOT on my ride. (Can you see me smiling sarcastically?) As it turns out, I actually ended up kissing Mike instead of cussing him. I was freaked out, but I never left the boat. I hunched down behind the guy in front of me, and NEVER looked at the scary rocks or waves in front of me. I just did as the guide ordered us to do, and we made it to the end in style without a hitch. It was, in point of fact, totally AWESOME. Collin rode the bronco (he sat on the front of the raft through smaller rapids) and had the time of his life … well … we all did. By that point we were all laughing and were all slightly high from the wild ride.
So … I guess I haven’t been worrying about my weight continuously. There have been a few moments where it wasn’t possible to think of anything other than living in the moment. Living in the moment, where this White Water trip was concerned, is something I previously would NEVER, ever have considered. There was NO way I was going to put my fat butt in a wetsuit. This was a moment I was able to live in thanks to losing 74.5 pounds, and I am so very glad to have had this opportunity. This was a memory of a lifetime … and … I didn’t have to miss out. I don’t know if there are words to adequately express the joy I feel. It motivates me to keep track of my life … cuz I want to live it to the fullest!
More on my adventures later … it’s late I gotta get ta sleep … S