What does a love affair have to do with weight loss …. read on dear reader. I am sure you will see how it weaves its way into the very fabric of weight loss.
I must confess that I have become an awful cheater. Lust has taken a hold in my belly and has completely ravaged me. I am beside myself with grief at my loss of self control. How could allow myself to be driven from my noble purposes? I have NO idea. I have never been given to addictions, but I have to say this affair has been the tiger unleashed. Is there any hope for me? I don’t know … I pray … I hope … I long for a return to sanity (OK, I know I was never sane, but I desire “MY” normal).
My shame revealed: an uncontrollable urge to munch trail mix has overtaken me. HELP! I engorged myself with 500 calories of JUST trail mix, and thats only today. I have consumed an enormous amount of this delish treat upon my return from the wilds of Colorado. It’s bad, like a fever. Right now, as I type, I want to go to the LAST bag of trail mix laying on the counter in the kitchen. I have resisted the urge now for the last 4 hours or more. I even jumped on my bike with Mikey to beat my flesh in to submission…it’s not working well. I hear the bag calling my name … wooing me with its promise of healthy fats and sugars. The thing is, even for mega athletes, you don’t eat more than 3 ounces or so …… I have had 7 ounces!! Help!
What has happened to me? I never have problems with self control. I ate off plan during vaca, and now my body is telling me we need food. That I gotta have food. It’s trying to convince me that I have punished it long enough. I KNOW I can’t give in to it’s protests (I am mentally pulling my hair out by the roots–while running madly down the corridors of my mind over this. I am trying to get away from myself, but it isn’t working).
My tummy has rebelled against my overstuffing of fruits and nuts by distending and cramping. I feel like I am a body at war with itself. My tummy knows we have over indulged in a good thing, but my emotions feel that we are long overdue for a feasting. Which part of me will win? My body or my emotions? I don’t even know where my mind has gotten off too … my logic has abandoned me to my cravings.
I find that I can only whine and bemoan my situation. I seem powerless. What’s the big problem with healthy nuts? Well, dang it all, they are loaded with FAT! Good fat, but Way more good fat than I need. I know it is better than eating 6 bags of chips, my arteries will be clean for sure. Surely this is not the truth–that I have no willpower! Whine, whine, whine …..
OH …. Why couldn’t I drive on Tuesday to get weighed??? Now, I will have gained even more from over-trail-mix-consumption. Is all hope lost?