I think that is how you spell that … I also think that I am completely safe in using my own judgement in spelling this word(s) because they are slang for: YA BEHIND, your rear, La derrière, yo booty … you know that the thing you sit on. I will get back to that in a moment; right now, I want to talk to you about yesterday … the grilled cheese and what followed.
PLEASE do not attempt what I am about to share with you at home.
This is only for idiots and should never be attempted without the supervision of your physician.
Mine will probably kill me when he reads this. Just sayin’.
Now, that we have that out of the way, I will tell you what I did yesterday. I am sure at first glance my eating the grilled cheese seemed like an emotional response. That is how it started out, but an idea hatched in my head as I began to cook the sandwich. I began to realize I should let you all in on “WHY” I indulged in the supper yummy grilled cheese w/fries, the beef enchiladas with black beans and chips, and finally in the hot fresh-out-of-the-grease donuts from Krispy Kreme (I think that is how they spell it). Sounds like I had a melt down and not just with the grilled cheese, but I did not. I carefully thought out what I was doing.
Originally, I had planned to give myself something decadent with the sandwich to mentally tell myself that good food was not gone forever, just delayed. Then the idea began to form once the grilled cheese had done its work and calmed my emotions down. I am like the next person; I love all things fried. However, no matter if I was carefully attending to my food intake or allowing myself to eat what I wanted to eat without thinking about it, I cannot consume much fried food without getting sick. I start burping it up, and burping it up. I had been talking with Lindsey after clinic yesterday about why I couldn’t do the Atkins diet , because sometimes the fatty food just made me so sick from all the burping up that I just couldn’t consume another bite of the foods that had been on my diet … to this day I have a hard time with eggs. Can you see my plan starting to take form?
While I was flipping out and making my very fatty lunch, I also knew I was going to go out for some type of fatty dinner, and then I was going to top that off with a fatty desert. Why? Well, I am sure you all can see where I am going with this, cuz you guys are smart like that. I knew if I ate all that fatty stuff:
- My craving for rich food would cease.
- Emotionally, I would be satisfied because I would have had a few decadent things I was not going to take part in for a LONG while: if ever again.
- Last, but most important, I wouldn’t be craving these type of foods for a while because they would not leave me with a good taste in my mouth–after last night.
It was a sad day. Such a mean thing to sabotage such wonderful foods. Foods that I love so much. I have to say, I think in the long run it is for the best. Those foods never were needed in my diet anyway. So they were good choices for my plan. The grilled cheese is probably safe from total annihilation, but the enchiladas and the donuts –uhh–I won’t describe in detail why, but they are probably history. Oh man did I burp and burp and burp, If Collin (my youngest son) had heard me, he would have been rolling with laughter. It was GROSS! I have to tell you by the time I got to the donuts, they didn’t taste as good as I had remembered them; they will probably never be a temptation again. I like that. 🙂
There is also another thing you have to realize about my decision to consume these foods–exercise. I walked 20 minutes hard before going into weigh in yesterday morning, and then Mike and lifted weights for about 45 min, and, after the donuts, I walked for 40 minutes up my man-made-treadmill-hill. I drank extra water. All of this was thought out. This was NOT a rash action of abandon with food. I know my body. I know how I react to foods, I would NEVER have used NUTS to do this with. If I had, well, who knows when I would stop eating!! I’m just saying. You don’t do something like this unless your doctor says, OK lets try this, because you could end up on the binge of a lifetime. I knew what this would do to me, plus I planned exercise to limit the damage it could do to my overall weight loss efforts. Yesterday, I ended up, even with all that food being added in, over by 375 my allowed calories when you subtract the 1000 plus calories I burned doing different exercises. Not good for losing, but it was good for damage control.
Once the burping settled down, I took my meds (THANKS DR. ARD), and slept all through the night attached to my apnea machine. YEA! YEA! This morning when I weighed, well it was the same as the day before ,and my tummy was flatter. I am not nearly as hungry today as I was yesterday. Dr. Ard, I am so sorry if you are reading this horrible account; although, I know you will see it when you and Lindsey look at my food log: I am pretty sure you would not have approved. I had to do what I knew would make it possible for me to go back to transition one. What would make those foods seem appealing, and they do now. I had to give myself a fighting chance, because I want to do this with everything I have. I want to make goal.
It has been frustrating to be hovering around the same weight for so long. My size hasn’t changed much since May. Sadly … I have only lost about 10 pounds since that time. Boo hiss! So, it was time to get down and dirty with this stuff. Now, I bet you are wondering what the heck all this had to do with my title … it was this whole not-changing-much since May dealy whopper.
I am including some photos, one you have seen before, the one at the top of the page. Now, you will see the what I cropped out. MY BADONK a DONK. I looked OK from the front … but DANG the back view was tough to see. Well, I took a few pics last night, and while they aren’t the greatest, I can see a change there. YEA! Fuel to fight on. Still a few more hills to climb. It is amazing how much a good night’s sleep affects your ability to think positively. Whew! What a nice change and with just one nights sleep. Thanks again DR. ARD!! I was starting to worry if I was gonna have to avoid myself just to get by! I don’t do negative well … eww … it makes you heavy.
Sorry about the lighting, but we forgot the camera with a flash, we had to use the phone. So anyway … I hope y’all enjoyed the show … see y’all later taters (and no, I ain’t eaten’ them right now either) …. S