I am NOT quitting.
I am NOT giving up.
I have NOT lost my focus to reach my goal.
I just want to redirect my focus from all liquid meals for a short season to regular meals.
I have had several worried comments and queries about this and I wanted to bring rest to your mind. I am about to head to the gym to work out with the Trainer Nazi, so I will have to be brief. Just so you know, I walked again last night to settle my nerves for 3.5 miles. I plan to ride again tonight. I am OK other than I have stalled.
I have stalled for a reason. I am working out more. My body wants more food. I am not sure how much to give it and sweet shakes for the moment just make me gag.
What’s going on with my grumpy blogs …?
…Me struggling with my choices. My internal struggle with my diet at the moment is from a fear of change. I mentioned this to the docs they want me to keep pressing forward. I am not able to do that right now–I gag every time I try to eat more sweet food. I really believe that I need a break. However, that scares me. I am afraid of taking a break and changing my focus from the scales to just building muscle. The pain you are reading is the struggle with choices/change and the fear that brings with it. Changing anything causes me a enormous amounts of pain. Miss Emm said it very well the other day and when I get back and have time I am going to tag that blog so you can read it.
I went through all this before I started the program and I am going through it right now. I am sorry if gave any of you cause to worry. I will NEVER give up. Please understand that it IS NOT in my nature to quit.
I do not know if I have ever felt so loved in all my life. Thank you all for caring so much. You bless my confused soul and give me hope that no matter what choice I make–I will do well–because YOU ALL are there. You have my back and honor me so with your words of encouragement. THANK YOU!
I hope this puts your minds at ease … S