Peace of Mind

Once I made up my mind to move forward with my changes, I found that peace settled over my mind and body like a warm cloak on a cold winters day.  All my shivering and quaking ceased,  a calm came over me; I could again see clearly, and think positively.  My disquiet arose not from following my internal guide that screamed, “WE NEED A BREAK or we are going to quit you,” but in dropping my own carefully thought out decision for someone else’s plan. Granted that someone is an expert in this field, an expert that I trust, so it was very hard to go against his advice. Still, I know me.  I know I was collapsing.  Today …well, it is amazing what focus can do for a clunky-chunky-churning-flopping-cloudy brain, ahhhh …. I can breathe.  I can smile.  YEA!

Yesterday was GREAT.  I am still working out what I am going to eat, I feel sure by the end of this week I will have a menu plan to follow for my two or three real meals with my shakes for the other three to keep things wonderfully on track.  The shakes are great for keeping hunger at bay after strong exercise IF I am eating real savory food to go with them.  For the first time in weeks, I was not starving all day.  I ate until I stopped feeling hungry.  Which sometimes meant that after my “real food” I had to add a shake as well to stop the hunger.  This morning my scales were down another pound.  So … I am pretty cool with things so far.

What did I do yesterday?  I am so glad you asked … I was waiting to tell you (smiling).  Well, I ran off to the gym for about 15 to 20 minutes weight training before Donna and the reformer (torture) room for an hour.  Then, Mikey and I went for a 55 minute bike ride.  Have I mentioned that I am sore in places I forgot that I had?  hehe.  FEELS GREAT!

Just for clarification: I am going to express to my doctors my chosen path for the time being in an e-mail so they are not in complete shock when I forward them my food journal on Sunday night (via email).  I am NOT changing Doctors or Programs.  I will still go in every Tuesday for them to weigh me and keep and eye on my progress as I go through my break.  I will still attend the classes to keep myself on focus, because as I said I’m NOT Quitting!  Their scales break down what you are gaining or losing (the fat, the muscle, the water … oh … and the stinking BMI number).  This way I can keep a better eye on what if anything I am gaining.  Gaining muscle and water (water goes up with muscle) is ok, gaining fat is NOT!

I was going to write more … I haven’t checked this …. probably chocked full of errors …. but my Sophie girl is here and I gotta go play …..S

12 thoughts on “Peace of Mind

  1. As a natural slacker in the physcal dept I am always impressed by the amount of exersise you do. I am pleased your mind seems to be settling down for a bit. whatever the ups and downs I always feel you will get there and however mad you sometimes feel you are just the sort of person I would turn to in a crisis which says a lot about you in my book

    • Haha — so the mad in my title makes a little more sense now huh? haha! You are right about being able to turn to me in a crisis — I can think fast on my feet and never let go until the fight is finished. Sort of like a alligator snapping turtle. 😀

  2. I’m glad you have a plan of action and it sounds great!! When I was doing optifast there was no way I could do all three meals as shakes! I used to look forward to the evening meal so much!!

    • Mel,

      I didn’t know you did OptiFast. I don’t know how you only ate 3 meals with OptiFast, because they plan you with 5 to 6 a day. In my case it was 6 to 7 a day. Just to keep me from starving. I am very much enjoying my 3 meals a day food and three meals a day shakes. YEA ME!

  3. I know it must be hard to postpone some of these events you’d hope to participate in. But I’m glad you are suffering less mental anguish than you were before! In the end you do have to listen to your body. You will make it work. Good luck!

    • Well, I won’t be postponing the race in October. I just decided that I need that break and I am going to take it as long as I don’t gain. Thanks. I will make it work and so far I am still following plan and using the shakes to keep things level. 😀

  4. It will be edifying to track your success with the new changes that fit more with your style. I mean no one but yourself can know yourself best, right?

    • Thanks Mid girl — I have been looking for this comment everywhere. I knew I had read it, but I couldn’t find it! haha! I do know by body well, but this Doc Know’s his STUFF! I hated going against his plan, but i believe he will understand and support me when I explain myself. So I get the best of both worlds. 😀

  5. Whatever you decide with your trainer, your doctor, and your family is great and without question the right thing to do. I will tell you — getting back on the fast is miserable the second time — I have never heard of success of anyone doing it — and your body had so much to lose, so much water from salt, and did not know what was going on the first time… that is not the case this time. You have much less to lose, no salt really and your body and mind know what you are doing… SUX. I have heard from several folks that the 3rd time is easy and much like the first… so keep that in mind… Have fun training… I look forward to hearing about you hanging upside down in a straight jacket while doing crunches!

    • OL — You crack me up. Your stories about my activites are far better than the events themselves. I loved the one where I was going to africa. That made my day!

      Hey, you do know someone who did it well the second time around. Beth … she just finished her second round after a 6 month break.

      and the training has begun. It is way fun to make Mikey sweat and whine when we are riding our bikes. YOu have to understand that my bike is far better than his and this is the ONLY reason I can, but it is still fun! 😉

  6. I want you to look up Julie Moss competing in the 1982 Hawaii Ironman Triathlon. She reminds me of you. I was listening to one of her podcasts yesterday and some of the things she said were sooooo true. Let me know what you think of her.

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