How’s everyone out there in Blog-land? I hope you all are doing well.
I am wishing all of you the best Holiday Season ever. For those of you who are dieting like I am, I am praying for all our strength. It is much harder to press forward when so much food abounds in almost Biblical proportions at every table we find ourselves seated. We have all come so far … we can stick to our plans through this battlefield of the mind and senses. We can come out the other side of this pig-fest we call The Holiday Season exactly where we each planned to be. WE CAN. I believe we will. 😀
With that said … I am struggling (she smiles bewildered off into the distance). I am not sure if any of you have this problem or not, but I seem to struggle when my scales don’t act the way they should. This morning I was up from 169.2 yesterday to 169.8 today. I didn’t cheat, I didn’t do much anything different–expect–I don’t think I drank enough water. I know that can cause you to hold water weight–so I am telling myself that. Sadly, my logic isn’t working well these days … boo hiss … poor pittiful me. NOT! I am really ok but … there is the temptations ….
The problem is everyone is eating yummy foods in front of me while I am limited to a few things that I know work well for my continued loss. What’s the deal with all this wanting to eat food I know I really don’t want?? I think I get ticked off when the scales don’t behave, even though I have noticed that I spike up every Monday and Tuesday, sometimes even Saturdays spike up, of each week. I seem to be on a cycle of some sort. Intellectually I can accept this, but my emotions give me fits every time this happens, and I know I am dealing with some emotional something-or-other! I don’t move off plan, but I seem to suffer worse than normal. Am I alone in this??
Those feelings lead to bad thoughts. I have moments where I would like to slap the yummy treats out of strangers unsuspecting hands and watch the smile drain from their faces. Inside I laugh with glee. I know … that is horrible of me isn’t it? It is ok you can say that is bad, because it IS! I would never do that to anyone, but somedays you just feel tortured by everyone elses pleasure. I’m just sayin’. I spent most of my day (today) kinda pissy (please excuse my French), and wanting foods I normally don’t care about–hinking sweet thoughts like I just mentioned. Could it have been the fact that I went grocery shopping to make favorite foods that I will not partake of? I don’t know … what da you think?
I can see changes in my body that I like, and changes that I don’t. Certain areas of a girl’s body … uh … well … let’s just say she would rather not lose … sorry guys, but it is the truth. They tend to go first or in bizarre ways. Things just don’t look right at the moment– AND–this is actually a good thing. I know this, but there are some emotional adjustments taking place. You add these emotional adjustments to the fluctuating scale shifts and you get a humdinger-of-a-roller-coaster-ride where feelings are concerned. Truly, I tell myself, these are good things, because it means I am losing the yucky visceral fat that causes serious health problems. Still, all the change takes some getting used to … Am I alone in feeling this way???
Does anyone else struggle with the image they see in the mirror and accepting the change? Whether you have just started a weight journey of your own, or if you are actually at the finish line … do you struggle with the image that you see? I must add; I am not disappointed by any means, just sort of dumbfounded at times. I am very excited that all my shoes are falling off my feet. Then, there is my purchasing size MEDIUM sleepwear and they are almost big on me. I naturally reach for large/X-large, but that is not my size any longer. This is fun and thrilling, but it still takes getting used to. Again, I find myself in the place where most of my clothes do not fit. I am about to hit the Thrift store–this is crazy! I don’t even have socks that fit?!?! 😀
Such a terrible problem to have. 😉
Again, these are all good things so No worries over here; except that we may go broke clothing me! Hahaha! I have wonderful and extremely understanding support that allows me to work through all my wild emotions freely. My husband looks at me with the same loving eyes, and reaffirms that he is pleased with me, and reminds me that I should not worry about the things on my body that distress me. I am blessed. My family is cheering for me like I have won some major lottery.
Life really is good. I tell myself these things, because I am getting sick of eating the same ole same ole. I feel like I am at war with myself. The me that wants to reach goal is getting really annoyed with the me (my body) that is makin’ me gag and is craving fatty carby stuff. My body has developed a mind of its own, and is trying to jank my mind around to get the yummy fat treats it wants to eat. If it messes with me much more I will teach it a lesson! Shonnie will be shakin’ it again. That’ll teach it to gripe about eating a shrimp salad!
I want to leave you each with the words Lindsey Lee spoke at our last clinic meeting. “One day cannot wreck all the hard work you have put in this year, so if you go off plan, let that be your plan.” One day will only slow things down, not stop or undo the progress we have made all year.
Just in case I wanted to give in to my bad behavin’ body–here is a little reminder!
Blessings and wishing you the best Holiday ever! …..S