Happy Thanksgiving guys and gals!

I hope you all have a FABO day tomorrow and eat just as exactly you planned for.  That your gatherings be filled with joy, love, and fulfilled togetherness.  If your family gatherings are a trial; I pray you find peace and make it through unharmed!  😀

I won’t be cooking tomorrow or eating anything out of the ordinary.  We will be deep in food-mine territory starting Friday until Sunday.  A three day opportunity to loose my cool, and eat with abandon blowing my diet for a weekend.  Not gonna happen.  Mike will be with me and he will shew me away if I start breaking down.  My daughter Onnie will push me away if I loose balance.  Thankfully, Collin, the autistic child will ask me if I wanna get fat again … so I am very covered!    I am indeed armed for battle — I should be fantastic!  Hope you are.  😀

I could be shakin’ it for the whole weekend.  WHY would I do that to myself??  Well, I am in a brain lock for what food I want to take.  I am only going to stress over it just a TAD longer before I decide that it is a NON issue and pack up the shakes and just be done with it.  I would love to eat food with everyone else, but … Dang it all I pooped from making their food, and have no brain power for mine.  Life is like that sometimes … when you’re the mom.  Why do we wait to take care of ourselves last?  I don’t know.

I am pretty good about taking care of myself, but sometimes I fall back into the me last pattern.  I have to tell you that is a lot of the reason my body got so out of whack in the first place.  Forgetting to care for me … it is almost like we feel guilty if we care for ourselves.  Why is that?  Why do we feel SELFISH if we think about ourselves?  Why?  If you don’t care for yourself you cannot care for anyone else with any degree of skill!  Well, you can for a while , then you fall apart — just ask me I can tell you all about falling apart!

On a different vein of the diet minefields: Does anyone else get the looks of annoyance that you are eating a special diet?  That you are being such a bother?  That why couldn’t you just put your diet on hold for my event disdainful stares?  I mean some people take it as a personal insult if you don’t eat what they have prepared.  I realize this is a cultural thing and we do have to exist in society, but dang it all … GET OFF MY BACK already!  Sorry, I will calm down — I just get tired of the trash emotional blackmail I get from folks who have to be the center of attention all the time.

NOTE:  I must add that I am often the center of attention.  I do ok with that, but sometimes I would just like to glide under the radar.  Know what I mean?  I just don’t want to cause a problem for folks and I want to eat unnoticed this season.  I don’t think it will be a problem this weekend … I hope!  😀

On to my first real Butt Kicker’s Tip:

What do you do about people who question you about the healthiness of your diet plan?

Recently, I have had a few people declare to me that I must be finished losing because getting any smaller would be unhealthy.  These are the same people who when I was morbidly obese were cheering me on to all my goals.  Some were most likely secretly expecting me to fail, others were genuenly happy for me; until I arrived at their weight range–then things changed.

For those of you who made your demands; they were acknowledged and filled in file 13 where they belong.

We, especially those of us working with programs like UAB/EatRight work with specialists to determine what we should weigh and what would be healthy or not.  If you are not working with professionals–do the research and know your stuff–this is your best defense agaisnt assults on your goals.  Be able to answer your assailants with calm facts and don’t be defensive like my next paragraph (even though my facts are good it is a bit defensive–get defensive on your blogs or with those who support you), and you will see they will back off if you are confident and have your facts straight.

Weighing 167 pounds is not an ideal weight for a woman my height.  I have MEDICAL goals!  Medical, NOT vanity goals that are driving me down into the 150s at my highest.  I plan to try for 135 so that when I start lifting weights and doing my heavy training that I won’t bounce up over 150, but be closer to 145-ish.  If you think that is unhealthy then you need to go and read the latest medical information out there.  I question peoples motives who imply that weighing less that 150 is vanity.  I’m just sayin’ … why would someone think 167 pounds is a healthy weight, unless you 5′ 11″?  If I was pushing for my teen weight of 110 to 115 or even my early 20s weight of 120 to 129 you would be correct in asking me if I have healthy goals.  Even though the later is considered the healthy weight for my body, my docs and I don’t think it is a healthy goal for me at this age. Honestly, this is where vanity kicks in for me … I think I would look HORRIBLE at that weight.  Like a skeleton!  YUCK!

So to put all my questioners minds to rest, (I am going to assume that you have the best of motives and be thankful that you care–so don’t worry that I am angry with anyone–I am NOT!), I am working with my DOCTORS to decide what is the best place to stop.  Be at peace: We are working toward the goal of minimal to no meds, the weight has to come off for that to happen.  So rest easy … I am on a healthy mission … pray for me if you think I have gone too far that I can see the error of my ways.  Right now, I want you to understand that even though I love you and appreciate you, because I truly do; comments that I should stop will not be appreciated.

Know that you are not alone in these trials.

I know that I am not alone in experiencing this, because so many of us at clinic, and in the blog-o-sphere have talked amongst ourselves about how deflating this, “Stop you have gone to far” can be in our progress. At the EatRight clinic we have classes on how to deal with nay sayers — this is a big problem for big time weight losers.  People around us become uncomfortable with our progress and start to try and sabotage our focus on our goals by trying to make feel that our goals are unreasonable, selfish, and unhealthy.  The Docs work with us to set the goals so we know that they are not unreasonable.  Most of us are not anorexic, nor are we in any danger of ever becoming so, we simply want to achieve our goals.  It is somehow a very huge deal to make it there, above and beyond the actual weight loss … there is the accomplishment at arriving at goal.

Are your weight loss goals maintainable?

OK.  That sounds like a great question doesn’t it?  Exactly what does that mean?  What weight loss is more maintainable than another?  If any of you out there have any idea how to answer this questions (I have had this asked of me)?  I personally think it is a non-issue type question–sounds good but what they heck does it mean?  How is maintaining 130, harder than maintaining 150, or 180??  Maintaining our weight loss is going to be a challenge where ever we stop.  We are going to have to work just as hard to maintain as we did to lose.  Our bodies are used to being heavier (mine is anyway).

I plan on being active — VERY active to keep my weight off.  When I am not active I will have to WORK to keep my eating in line with activity.  I think the best thing we can do for “after goal maintinance” is make a plan and work to keep ourselves surrounded by people working for the same goals.  Healthy living.  That is going to be some of the best ways I can think of besides eating smart.  What do you think?  How can we maintain after all this hard work to lose?

I wrote this not just to get the frustration off my chest, but six or more times in about a 4 day span of people telling me I needed to stop–because I was just being vain (PROMISE those exact words were barely veiled with concern for my health), was extremely frustrating …. BUT, because I don’t want my fellow BIG LOSERS to get caught off guard by these comments.  We Butt Kickers gotta stick together.  Just one last hint Butt Kickers:  How did I know that these folks didn’t have my best interest at heart?  I know those people are just feeling pressure because they are my weight now and they are not doing to lose — everyone Without exception who said this to me was my weight right now — so I know they are feeling uncomfortable with my moving below them.  Just keep this in mind and question the comments of people who press you over your goals, and over the Holidays to get off YOUR plan (whatever that may be), what are their motives in tempting you to leave your plan?

Well … I think I have been on my soap box long enough.  I am gonna climb down and let a few others of you take over.  🙂

**A NOTE: Those of you who have told me that I looked great and if I lost no more that I should be proud of myself (like my neighbor across the street LR), you guys made my days when I was struggling to get going again.  THANKS!  For those nurses out there in my family (I know you are friends, but you feel like family), I KNOW this is a part of your make up to question health issues, and YOU ARE A-OK with me.  I knew you would question me all along the way, and I appreciate your input always!  So, you are not included in the afore mention frustrations–unless of course you had bad motives.  (Snickering–wink, wink)  😀

Blessings be with you all through out the rest of this week.  I don’t know how much I will get to post between driving and hangin’!  Love and all my best to you and yours ….S

P.S. my scales were down 4 tenths of a pound this am.  I am counting that!  Just sayin!  😀

16 thoughts on “Happy Thanksgiving guys and gals!

  1. Great, great post Shonnie. I’m bookmarking this for future reference… : ) I’m not at the point of making people around me feel threatened by my weight loss, but I see glimpses of it every now and then… Must be prepared not to let it sideline me.

    • Glad you liked it Jennifer. I just arrived here, but remember when several others in my group arrived and the comments they made about it helped me when I faced the same things. I expect to have this happen more and more as I get closer to my goal weight. I still have my goals that are healthy and … I know you do too! Keep pressing in!

  2. Great post. I too am guilty of putting everything and everyone ahead of me. Including a boss who turned out to be such a jerk to me after many years of me sacrificing my life for the business. But like you, my priorities are realigned. Yes, much to be thankful for.

    wall flower? That hardly fits you!! OF course you are often the center of attention. I expect nothing less.

    Happy Thanksgiving day and weekend. I know you’ll be successful.

    • Hahaha Leigh. How did you guess that I wasn’t a wallflower?? I know I seem so shy. NOT! Glad you are keeping your priorities straight … why is that so hard? 😀

      Happy Holidays to you! 😀

  3. I think one of the hardest things about eating is regional traditions…..Have you thought about any of those. People in Denmark etc. eat boiled everything and like it. Us Polish people are a mix between boiled foods and baked. It seems the Southern tradition is deep in delicious calorie rich, creamed sauces…hard to break those habits even for the best intentions when you have those family recipies around the holidays. Loosing weight for health reasons is good, being on the great approved program you have is good. My best to you…just remember as you age to be exercise friendly to your joints or you will pay the price in 10 years. Exercise wisely. Have a great Thanksgiving and relish in the attention of all your loved ones…peace…..Nancy

  4. Sometimes keeping your eye on the goal for success requires blunt advice and blunt thinking. Remember, that your goals are for your life–maybe others will understand, maybe they won’t. It is always so much more fun when they do, but you have to do what is necessary to stay motivated and focused regardless. Helpful post.

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