Why the comparison is a great question. What do these pics have to do with the title is another great question. Scooch over here by me for a bit, and I will fill ya in. 😉
What these comparison pics, that you have already seen, are about is BODY IMAGE. How do YOU and I see ourselves? Several of my online buddies have commented that my title is wrong–cuz I am not fat. Jueseppi has been getting on to me for some time because he thinks I need to have my eyes checked, because I complain about my body. His kind rebuffs got me thinking about body image.
I have been reading across the web; some of the images of women are disturbing. There are women who look like victims of starvation to women who seem proud of morbid obesity, and everything (mostly healthy) in between. Then, are the experts and people on every side of the issue that further confuse the matter of what is a healthy body image. What is too big? What is too small? What is the perfect ideal or body image a woman should have of herself? Who decides what is “RIGHT” for each of us?
I think we each must decide what is our ideal for ourselves.
As long as our ideal is healthy, then that is a good place to stop. Does this mean that I think a morbid obese or anorexic’s decision to stop where they have is good? My answer is a few questions: Is your weight healthy for you? Will your weight help strengthen your body or harm it? Will your weight cause illness? Both extremes will cause health issues.
According to my BMI numbers, I am OVERWEIGHT at 167–or what ever my weight is right now. I personally do not think 167 is a good weight for me. I think that is too heavy for my bone structure, and the activities I want to participate in. Even so, I am postponing my push for weight loss in favor of strength training for this year. There I said it. I am not trying to lose for 2012. I am trying to maintain; losing would be a wonderful bonus, but strength is the goal.
I think for most women this whole body image idea becomes a body-ache/heartache. I never measure up to how I want to look in my head. There are a number of reasons for this:
- I am 48 years old–not 20–so, some of the things I want to see won’t happen without surgery, and probably not then.
- I have weighed above 250 for more than 10 years–my body will not go back into a smooth form (I must say it has done MUCH better than expected–happiness here!) Of my youth; again without surgery.
- I’ve given birth to 4 children; two of them were 10 pounds +!! That does damage–just sayin’!
- On a mental note: I think I am too harsh with myself, and this is where rejoicing comes in.
I love seeing fit women of all shapes and sizes. I love seeing the 200+ pound women getting out there and giving it what for. I never think ewww….YUCK! She shouldn’t go out for this. I always think. WOW! You go girl (same for the big guys). I feel proud of them, excited for them, and speak a prayer of blessing on them as they go.
So, what is my (and so many others who have lost a large amount of weight) major malfunction with seeing how far I have come? I don’t know.
Lets look at today. I didn’t feel bad when I put my outfit on; I kinda felt slim. Which is always fun. It gives you that little pep to your step. Then, in the Reformer room, (they rearranged the machines, now, you see your body from a different angle) all I could see is the biggest part of my body. It was distracting me. It was discouraging me. I found myself trying to look away from the large-ish rear and gut. I tried to focus on my legs that have begun some yummy new muscular shapes (I LIKE MUSCLE). A bit later, we bridge, and I see the upper part of my thick stomach, and the flab pooching out around my underarms (this is from the lat work I have been doing). I tell myself — REJOICE. I tell myself: you made the choice to grow strong. The rest of the weight will come off in time, but not fast. I know all this. I have known this since I started training folks when I was 17. So what is my PROBLEM?
Body Image. What I see in the mirror looks the same to me as the old 255 pound me. Why? I really do not understand why. I think it just takes time for your brain to process that you have in fact CHANGED. I use looking back at these pictures to help my mind see … the distortion of the woman I see in the mirror. That I might KNOW what I see is NOT reality.
I am slimmer.
I am fitter.
I am WAY healthier.
Life’s good! I will grow past this thought pattern too. Just like I overcame the fear of SPANDEX at 255 pounds, I will overcome the unhealthy mental body image, and LOVE myself just how I am. Because … you know why?
I am fun.
I love life and people.
I am giving.
I am kind.
I am loving.
I am strong.
I am courageous.
I am persistant.
I NEVER GIVE UP. (on myself or others)
I’m an artist.
I wanna be a writer.
There are just too many facets to myself to list … we would be here all day. You get the idea. I need to focus on what is real and good. I am going to achieve all my goals–some may take just a tad longer than I like, but THAT IS OK.
Oh … and … I am pretty darn cool to boot. 😉
Just out of curiousity … what do you see when YOU look in the mirror? Are you Sexy and You KNOW IT? (winkin