Anti-Butt Kicker

Well, maybe not quite that epic. 😀

That is what I have been for the past few months on the weight loss front.  Not only did I NOT make it to my original goal weight, but I gained.  I went from 159-ish to 175-ish.  I am of and on upset by this fact.  I have not changed clothes sizes, but they are fitting a bit snugger (she grins sheepishly).  You might wonder why all this happened.  There are a NUMBER of reasons.

Yeah … life has been a challenge … but it has not been without rewards!

  • One of the main culprits would be learning to Train and Eat.  I have gained muscle which accounts for some, but NOT all of the weight gain.  This, training and eating, is my tricky part–Getting the food right for me to lose fat, while building muscle.  I do just fine if I am in active (for me), but the moment I start the heavy lifting–I AM STARVING.  I get confused as to how much I need to eat–or what even.  I know I have talked about getting a RMR (resting metabolism rate test), but I keep leaving town and they can only be done on Fridays and I have been out of town for two weeks.  Why didn’t I do it today?  I forgot to schedule it!  Hey …. Hey …. Cut me some slack.  I have been on the road for weeks now.  I barely know who I am or where I am at … forget which day it is!!
  • Nope — no alligators down there — don’t think. 🙂

  • RMR–leads into the next reason I am gaining, and this test will be key in figuring out what my bodies shut off point is.  According to the Evil Dr. Ard, my body is super sensitive and flips on the starvation mode switch if I do not eat enough.  I have a plan to deal with my body’s temperamental nature (which is way better than I have lived for the last few months–plan-less.  More on this in the next bullet).  I feel like I am hitting and missing, not to mention I am starving most of the time.  Something isn’t right.  Mentally, I just cannot make myself eat more without running off the road here and there. I think that is because I feel “WRONG” to eat more.  I know that’s unhealthy thinking, but It is like open eat more food and the carb door, then my body runs amuck and starts rabid cravings–this probably deserves its own blog post.
  • I got on that thang when it was by the dock. The girls as you see can stand on it when it is moving. It was a super challenge for me just to get up on it. I tried standing and that was so hard there are not words — and I fell off everytime. The girls decided that I was Super Funny. Thankfully, my sweet cousin did NOT film it as the girls were requesting. 🙂

  • Needing a Plan.  I find that I cannot be successful without a plan of action.  I can’t see how things will go.  I have to KNOW what I am going to do and how I will handle situations in order to stay on track with my food.  I have not been able to make a plan and stick to it.  I think it is because I have been in the road for the better part of two months, just prior to that I had family for 3 weeks straight at my home–who did not have any desire to stick to my diet.  I was so tired in preparation for the family coming that I did not ever come up with a great plan for me–so I did the best I could to accommodate everyone and make the best choices possible for myself.  That has continued on over the past few months with all the travel.  I believe that is why it has taken 4 months almost 5 to gain the twenty pounds, but who wants to gain at all–even if some of that is muscle?  NOT ME!
  • There are even cool parks for walks in Rural Louisiana. I walked a mile or two here while I waited to catch up with another cousin and her family. 🙂 No gators on the dry ground — that I know of. 😉

  • Insulin Resistance.  I am, according to one of my docs, very insulin resistant.  Which adds to the lovely problem mentioned earlier in regard to my body’s tendency to “STORE FAT” to protect against starvation.  Getting the amount of carbs right for “TRAINING and Building MUSCLE” — while keeping the insulin levels down is very tricky.  Insulin in the body not only stores fat, but won’t allow your body to burn your fat stores–so say some studies and is seems to be the case with my body.  My diabetics nutritionist reccomended no more than 35 grams of carbs per meal.  Sadly, that generally runs my blood sugar numbers WAY up the line from healthy norms.  I do best (meaning my numbers run normal) if my overall carbs don’t exceed 35 to 50 a DAY–not a meal.  I tend to become weak if I eat only protein and veggies–where I fly is when I eat FAT.  I know … crazy right?  There are studies that show this type diet can work for the over all health of those following it–can I say this one is hard to stomach (mentally)?
  • There is just something about seeing trees growing in the swampy waters that makes my heart sing. Makes me feel like a kid again.   🙂 Guess you would have to be there.   🙂 

  • Not keeping a LOG. I know this has caused me problems.  Why haven’t I kept it?  Well, it is plain and simple–I didn’t want ANYONE to see what I was eating.  I have decided that while I am working this part of my life out — no body has to see my log — BUT I DO.  If I don’t keep a log I can’t tell what I am doing that is causing my problems.  I ran into shame issues, because I was forced into situations (mostly from lack of planning and exhaustion) that required I eat food I would not otherwise chosen.  I have corrected most of my problems with planning.  I made sure to rest, so that I had a brain to plan.  I have started simplifying my packing requirements–major help.  I am going to play with my diet until I get the right one for me.  I have NO desire to return to a fasted life.  I have several options to choose from (which makes me very happy), and I plan to stick with the plan I start with (right now–it is lean and green) for a few weeks probably 4 or so –unless I gain rapidly — which I have done before, then, I will change to one of the other plans.

One thing I have continued to do well the whole time is I have kept up my activity.  I have lifted heavy most weeks at least once a week.  I have done some form of weight training two to three times a week.  I have ridden my bike, walked, swam (I tried hard to get up on an inner tube–I KNOW that burned calories because of how hard everyone was laughing at me!!), sprinted, taken reformer classes, squats, lunges, and done burpees.  I am constantly working out something.  In the department I scored!  😀

Because of my activity levels and my generally good eating my blood pressure numbers keep coming down and my need for medications lessens.  Yeah!  My blood sugar numbers are falling as well and the need for medication is falling there too.  So … while I have failed in my “weight loss” I have not failed in my health–for that I am very proud of myself.

I will tell you this — I Will Get the Body I want.  Why?  Because I believe I will, and I will NOT stop working until I get it!  😀

So … What’s up with you all?  Where are you winning?  I would Love to hear where you are winning.  If you are losing somewhere — lets cheer each other on to loving ourselves and good works!

Later’s gators (oh and I did swim with the gators–thankfully I never saw one, but we know they are there).


Yeah … we will be heading back this way by next Thursday. At least I got to stay home for almost two weeks. 😀


9 thoughts on “Anti-Butt Kicker

    • Thanks … Don’t let me forget. I try not to get discouraged, but sometimes it just stinks to go backwards. I am nervous about the new steps, but I really do think that I can do this. 😀

      Again … hold me to it and don’t let me forget: I CAN DO THIS!

      • We both can do it! I just started back exercising yesterday, just 20mins and I’m going to build myself back up. You CAN do it! Hang in there. One step at a time, easy does it.

    • Thanks J. This is just the second chapter in my healthy lifestyle journey. 😀 I WIN — just in case I forget this — REMIND ME! 😀

  1. I loved your link Why we get fat”. Then I spent over an hour reading Michael Eades MD info on protein, ketosis, fat, etc. That was a wonderful link! Very informative.
    Next, I saw your “train wreck”. Whoa,….. I think you forgot where you started! You are struggling now and need some help, but you are certainly not a train wreck. I think a body fat analysis might be informative. I also intend to keep reading Dr. Eades (might have some info you could use).You know it’s not about the numbers. Put yourself first, and I can’t wait to see your next blog!

    • Thanks V!!

      I plan on reading his stuff and working with the docs to get to the bottom of this. I will try to keep my focus on how far I have come and not on my boob ups! 🙂

      • You got this! You have already done some of the difficult work by writing down what needs to be addressed, way to go! Keep on trucking towards that plan, we are all beautiful and unique which is awesome but frustrating sometimes when we are trying to figure out what is “right” for our bodies.

      • Thank Nicole! I appreciate you taking the time to comment and leaving me such sweet words of encouragement. Your words seriously help me keep up my confidence. 😀

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