Tending to life.

Today isn’t a great day. Yesterday was worse. So we are moving forward at least. Thankfully, we are at the beginning of the end of the protracted pain–I hope.

Everywhere we turn there have been setbacks and traumas.  I guess this is the way of things when someone passes away.  There have been beautiful moments that make a person’s heart sing.  Then there have been moments that rip the heart, still beating, from the flesh.  Today, I am grappling with my personal strength.  I feel as thought I have been severely beaten.  I am struggling with my job as a mother.

Our youngest child, who is autistic, had mentioned when we asked him if he would like to go and see granddad, mentioned that he was afraid of missing school, because of struggles he’s been having with pre-cal and physics.  Well, when we told him of granddad’s passing he changed his mind, but we had already booked the tickets.   And now, we can’t make it happen.  Heartbreak all around.  We tried everything, but he is afraid to fly by himself so — there is no way to make it happen.  I wish I had seen this coming.  I wish I would have known he would change his mind.

So here I sit today, trying to make my brain work on packing.  I didn’t really have time for crazy stuff to happen, like the boy wanting to go with us after all–needing to go.  I don’t even have the mental ability now to even think about what I need to pack.

So what am I going to do?  What have I been doing not to lose focus? How do I manage my stress?

–I go for long walks.
–Ride my bike.
–Lift heavy weights.
–Stick to my diet–nothing tastes good anyway.
–I console my throbbing brain with a good book.
–I take soak baths.
–I hug all those I love and hold them as close as I can.

Our loved ones are the treasures of life–gifts that are beyond price. Losing one of those gifts is extremely hard to process. When life is so hard one can hardly breathe–one must take care of one’s self or one will crash and burn.

I hope each of you out there are taking care of yourself. Loving yourself. Taking time to enjoy the beauty in your life no matter what your situation may be. Because today is a gift that should be cherished.




23 thoughts on “Tending to life.

  1. A Prayer For My Friend
    …. Author Unknown

    Lord, I ask You to bless my friend who is reading this right now.

    Where there is pain,
    may they find peace and mercy.

    Where there is self-doubt,
    may they gain a renewed confidence.

    Where there is weariness or exhaustion,
    give them understanding, patience, and strength.

    Where there is fear,
    reveal your love, and offer to them your courage.

    Give them greater vision, bless their finances,
    and raise up leaders and friends to support and encourage them.

    May their spirit always be joyous and
    their days rich and full with love and happiness,

    And may they always know that they have friends who pray and wish them well.


  2. There’s nothing easy to say here. Sometimes life seems to suck, but if its any small consolation there is a small spot in England where someone is thinking of you and sending their best wishes.

  3. Condolences Shonnie on losing your Father in Law! I hope life swings some good luck your way soon! Take care gorgeous Lady! xxxx

  4. Shonnie – I’m sorry to you and your family on the loss of your FIL. Cancer is brutal – I’ve lost 2 friends this summer to it. Sending you healing thoughts. Be gentle to yourself. You deserve it.

    Hug, hug, hug, hug…..


  5. My heart breaks for all of you… for the loss of Mike’s dad and for the coping required of all of you! Know that I’ve been praying for His comfort and guidance!

  6. I wanted to send my prayers your way, for you and your entire family. You are walking through very difficult emotions, but you ARE walking through. Thank you for reminding all of us to take care of ourselves and to tell others that we love them. Moments are so incredibly precious and can be gone too swiftly. Hugs to you.

  7. Oh Shonnie, I am so, so sorry….life can beat us down sometimes….There’s nothing that I can say that can make things better for you, so I won’t try. I will just say that I am sending you a big hug full of love and I hope you can feel it.

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