Waiting a tha Y

Still posting via phone so it’s gonna be Short. I know you just hate that.


I really hate going to the Y now that I have gained some of my weight back. Whereas before I loved coming. I hat seeing my body on camera as I walk past the desk. I had gotten to where it did not bother me. I know hormones are responsible, but I still am larger. No one, other than those who read my blog, know WHY I have gained they just see a girl who cannot control herself.

I know that there is a reason for my gaining the weight back, and that I will make it back to where I want to be–I’m just angry that I have to do the work all over again. I’ve tried moderating my diet, but I get no where. I am mad that I have to hyper focus to lose. Why can’t I be like others who can moderate their diet along with moderate exercise and lose??

The door is cracked and waiting …

Maybe the whole moderate exercise thing gets me??? I’m not good at moderate exercise. I can do moderate eating–just not the exercising.

Still, in spite of humiliation, I sit with my chunky monkey body outside the reformer room waiting to have my body abused. I need this abuse. It keeps my overall pain level down. My injury level down. Makes life more livable. These are things worth fighting through shame for.



Don’t expect any side shots. Just sayin. A girls got her pride. 🙂


All done. Catch Ya’ll, and the typos later.

2 thoughts on “Waiting a tha Y

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