Waiting a tha Y


Still posting via phone so it’s gonna be Short. I know you just hate that.

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I really hate going to the Y now that I have gained some of my weight back. Whereas before I loved coming. I hat seeing my body on camera as I walk past the desk. I had gotten to where it did not bother me. I know hormones are responsible, but I still am larger. No one, other than those who read my blog, know WHY I have gained they just see a girl who cannot control herself.

I know that there is a reason for my gaining the weight back, and that I will make it back to where I want to be–I’m just angry that I have to do the work all over again. I’ve tried moderating my diet, but I get no where. I am mad that I have to hyper focus to lose. Why can’t I be like others who can moderate their diet along with moderate exercise and lose??

The door is cracked and waiting …

Maybe the whole moderate exercise thing gets me??? I’m not good at moderate exercise. I can do moderate eating–just not the exercising.

Still, in spite of humiliation, I sit with my chunky monkey body outside the reformer room waiting to have my body abused. I need this abuse. It keeps my overall pain level down. My injury level down. Makes life more livable. These are things worth fighting through shame for.

 

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Don’t expect any side shots. Just sayin. A girls got her pride. 🙂

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All done. Catch Ya’ll, and the typos later.
🙂

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