After a day of working on the computer–on my bed still suited in my jammies no less–Mike came home we dressed and headed to the gym to lift before leaving town for Florida in work. I may be heading to Louisiana. One of my sweet aunts is very ill. The mommy of the lovely lady who’s fabo porch I am always taking pictures of. All, I want to do today is lay in the bed, but I have to pack for Florida and possibly Lousiana. Need a walk or something outdoors to get my smile back on.
I like lifting heavy weights. The machine above is the only way I can do weighted squatts right now. I like pushing myself with the weights–I don’t remember the exact weight … let me think … It was 230 and we added 5 or 10 pounds to each side. I can’t remember. It was between 240 and 260 pounds squatting exercises–just on this machine and we were there an hour. So I got some good stuff done last night. There were a few young men that kept coming around to watch my boobs squish out the top of my workout shirt when I moved to another station (sorry no pics)–kinda bugged me–but I can’t help it, and I supose neighter can they. I guess.
Then, one of the same young men sat down next to me when I was working
on this machine. He kept staring at me–my boobs and my crotch–he wanted my attention, but he kept looking in bad places. He wanted to work in with me on these machines. I’m just saying … YOU DO NOT come over and STARE at a woman or man while working on this machine to the right. I got up and walked away. Why didn’t I go nuts on him? I think he is like my autistic son. You can always tell. They are polite but wrong at the same time. Still, it messed with me! I’ll laugh about it later I am sure.
Now, for The Second Part of my Title.
I had all this funny stuff to talk about, because working out is funny, and I had tummy issues. Sorry, but these things are still funny to me. Then, I read something on the web that made me angry. Pushed all my buttons. So, I put my struggle out there on FB. So … here I go, if you are a FB friend you can skip this part. I started by asking a question–I would love to hear your thoughts as well.
How many of you BIG LOSERS out there struggle with disappointment over the body you see in the mirror?
I am 49 and things just don’t “SNAP” back in place as they once looked after years of being large. There have been struggles for me emotionally with my body naked after losing so much weight (at this point 80+/- pounds). I want to look good naked, but I do not think–outside surgery (probably not even then)–that the body image I am seeking will ever be possible.
I will have a very hard time achieving their body beauty. So, I must learn to love the skin I am in. I must learn to celebrate the me; the me I am today. Not, waiting for the day I achieve my dream–parts of what I dream are not really possible. But I am going for them anyway, because what I find on the other side of pressing in is a healthy active life minus the fear of a premature death.
I hope each of you BIGGEST LOSERS out there can see yourselves as my husband thinks of me. I believe he is RIGHT. We have to choose to love ourselves, and believe in ourselves every step of the way. Getting healthy is all about the JOURNEY. There is no destination–save a healthy life lived fully.