Forgive me for a repost of todays Facebook Page share. I had another post planned before the Boston Terrorist Attacks … I lost momentum on writing about my wonderful weekend when so many were hurt and suffering … others dying and losing limbs. My self-inflicted pain of the weekend seemed small and petty and my joys seems brash and uncaring … so I just paused.
Still … I wanted to share a touch of my life … my struggles … my jubilant victories. Yes, to share the joy mixed with the pain and tragedy that is my life. Many moments in a life are bitter-sweet … beautiful but painful. Such has been the way of my world. One must learn to thrive in such situations, to laugh at the absurdity of life and dance in the rain–like a child with joy and hope. This, Collin’s Senior year, is not as much pain as it is joy and triumph. After so many years of suffering … you grow uber mushy when the hopes of your life become the reality you but dared to dream about. I’m swirling in a sea of joy, pain, love, happiness, hope, … still a touch of fear concerning the future dreams and hopes for this child, and all my children.
So much of our lives … all of our lives … my little family of six’s energy has been spent working to give Collin a hope and a future. Now, it looks as though there is good light at the end of this tunnel with more light for the next trek of our/Collin’s journey. I have hope.
My post today, both joy and pain, reads as follows:
It is hard to believe 14 years ago these three young people braved rock and pine cone pelting just to play outside … because Collin was different.
This was when Collin couldn’t look at you or a camera without crying or screaming. He did not speak other than to repeat words from his favorite videos–if you listened well you could get his meaning–but most children, and even some adults, were just afraid of him. Erica was his defender and Lauren was their faithful friend.
On Prom Night (I know this because my daughter filled me in) Collin drove them to dinner, and he was brave again … he ordered a BRAND NEW item for his meal–and he liked it. (You have to understand this is HUGE)
Collin HAD to arrive slightly early for Prom … I forgot to go over that one doesn’t arrive EARLY for Prom, but just on time and girls like to arrive a touch late. They were the first to Arrive. Once at Prom, I was told he was a gentleman–opening doors and taking the girls plates. He approached and greeted his classmates. He held conversations with Erica and Lauren — valid-into THEM conversations. (Again–SUPER HUGE DEAL) He asked them to dance. My daughter was so proud of her little brother. So encouraged. He has always been close to her heart … she wold grieve that others did not see how truly amazing he was, and what a gift he was to our family. It would break her heart. This evening made her heart soar with joy and hope for his future.
This was a LONG time in coming … long … long … long time. Many tears were shed. Many headaches were suffered. All worth it — I’m sure there are a few more ahead — but I am enjoying this moment. Savoring this moment.
Well, … I am off to collect his graduation invitations and to revisit one of his First Grade Teachers with Roses and an invitation to his graduation.
Somedays … even when life is hard … it is truly wonderfully spectacular.
I believe I am going to start a blog about being the mom of an autistic child … just haven’t come up with a name just yet … Kinda leaning toward Dancing in the Rain. I think it is time to talk about these things as well as being an
a not so angry not so fat Woman.
One parting thought: You must understand … and never forget … you must not ever, ever, ever quit. AND you must learn to dance in the rain and enjoy TODAY no matter where you are or what state you find yourself. If you do not learn to enjoy life each day you will miss the treasures that come your way … waiting for the day that your ship comes in … waiting yet it never comes. No ship can come in to those who do not have eyes to see.