Yep that’s me, and I don’t mean how great I look, although Mike would argue that I do look hotter than a red pepper. I’m talking about the fact that my air conditioning is malfunctioning. We arrived at midnight to find our house a hot box. We had to retire for the evening in our guest room.
I had so many plans to get my life in order and now I have a new mess to clean up while I am trying to gain ground on the already huge mound of undone things in my life. Oh well, such is life.
Maybe my brain will start to work and I can make the plan of attack I had intended for today. See … with all the stress in my life … and there has been a LOT … I have been gaining. I’m keeping active. I am eating real food. …But it just doesn’t seem to matter. I’m pissed just writing about it. I’m still creeping up. My creeps are bigger than most people gain in a year. This totally SUCKS. It isn’t just fluid … God knows that would be a HUGE blessing. No, I gain fat faster than you can even imagine. I do have to plan another form of attack. Guess you can tell the latest plan worked for about two weeks, and then I started creeping right back up. Mind you I am NOT huge, but I am so NOT pleased that ALL the clothes that were loose are now tight.
That means a regroup. Rethink. Rework. Re-plan. Re-execute. YUCK!
Such is my life. Mikey is mad. He thinks it is unfair. He knows what I eat. He knows what I do and he can’t see WHY any of this is happening.
This is not a new story in my life … and it is the reason for the title of my blog. Just because I have a smile on my face doesn’t mean I am not mad enough to blow up a building. I’m pissed off. I just want to live. I just want to eat real food — healthy food — and live. I am sick of working out a plan that will work and keep me level or losing slowly. I would work with ounces lost or inches. I don’t give a flip about the exact number on the scale if I could just get into my clothes better. Even so … I can’t go around with the mad face on because I just escalate in my anger if I don’t work on something to smile about.
I got my grand kiddos to make me smile. Collin graduated and will get to attend College. We just barely made the deadline for that — but we did!! I have four great kids. Lovely Parents. And most days just the sight of Mikey’s face makes the worst days seem like paradise … and when we are in paradise alone life’s amazing … so I am truly blessed. Even when life stinks–it really is grand.