Hotter than a red pepper!

Yep that’s me, and I don’t mean how great I look, although Mike would argue that I do look hotter than a red pepper.  I’m talking about the fact that my air conditioning is malfunctioning.  We arrived at midnight to find our house a hot box.  We had to retire for the evening in our guest room.

I had so many plans to get my life in order and now I have a new mess to clean up while I am trying to gain ground on the already huge mound of undone things in my life.  Oh well, such is life.

Maybe my brain will start to work and I can make the plan of attack I had intended for today.  See … with all the stress in my life … and there has been a LOT … I have been gaining.  I’m keeping active.  I am eating real food.  …But it just doesn’t seem  to matter.  I’m pissed just writing about it.   I’m still creeping up.  My creeps are bigger than most people gain in a year.  This totally SUCKS.  It isn’t just fluid … God knows that would be a HUGE blessing.  No, I gain fat faster than you can even imagine.  I do have to plan another form of attack.  Guess you can tell the latest plan worked for about two weeks, and then I started creeping right back up.  Mind you I am NOT huge, but I am so NOT pleased that ALL the clothes that were loose are now tight.

That means a regroup.  Rethink.  Rework.  Re-plan.  Re-execute.  YUCK!

Such is my life.  Mikey is mad.  He thinks it is unfair.  He knows what I eat.  He knows what I do and he can’t see WHY any of this is happening.

This is not a new story in my life … and it is the reason for the title of my blog.  Just because I have a smile on my face doesn’t mean I am not mad enough to blow up a building.  I’m pissed off.  I just want to live.  I just want to eat real food — healthy food — and live.  I am sick of working out a plan that will work and keep me level or losing slowly.  I would work with ounces lost or inches.  I don’t give a flip about the exact number on the scale if I could just get into my clothes better.  Even so … I can’t go around with the mad face on because I just escalate in my anger if I don’t work on something to smile about.

I got my grand kiddos to make me smile.  Collin graduated and will get to attend College.  We just barely made the deadline for that — but we did!!  I have four great kids.  Lovely Parents.  And most days just the sight of Mikey’s face makes the worst days seem like paradise … and when we are in paradise alone life’s amazing … so I am truly blessed.  Even when life stinks–it really is grand.

Blessings ….

Shonnie

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