Me, Myself, and Life


I know I’ve been quiet.

I know I have been slack.

It’s hard to constantly talk about failure. I’m not a failure, even though I’ve had one

Mostly I’m healthy.

My Daughter is getting Married. Yes, I like the guy. Living in two places makes it harder than I expected, but is a great break from all the physical work of building the deck for her woodland wedding.

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I’ve been hiding from my blog in general. I don’t take many photos.

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I’m pretty devastated to be back in this place still. All my attempts to reverse my setbacks have failed. BUT just because I have been quiet doesn’t mean I haven’t been out here pressing in.

I’ve have been out here working my self pissy. Who wants to hear the angry woman rant all the time. When I get quiet I’m scary mad. I’ve wanted to hurt something for quiet a while.

I’m a positive person with a super-sized side of Anger over the fat issue. I hate going out in public. I’ve become a non-person again. The whole thing makes me want to rip something apart with my bare hands. So I’m building a flipin Deck. Shoveling dirt and raking rocks.

So the deck is a positive for anger management.

Anyhow–gonna try to write again.

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8 thoughts on “Me, Myself, and Life

  1. You took the words right out of my blog! lol – I haven’t been posting much because I too have been fighting a general life sucks feeling and who wants to read about that?

  2. Wishing you better days, Shonnie, and so happy about Erica’s wedding. I am on Weight Watchers and for the first time in 25 years I am losing weight. It is a struggle as for the last month I have not lost. I do find however it is teaching me little tricks about how I look at eating and the things I eat. Portion control is my big one. When I look at my size 12 friends they eat only what the body will consume. As you age this is really very little. We are constantly bombarded with media and we have Super Super markets all throwing salty or crunch at our feet. Night time when I am alone I eat out of sorrow for loosing my soulmate to Pancreatic Cancer. Sorry for my own ranting but I hear you loud and clear

    • Thats awesome Nancy that you are having success with weight watchers. Im working of a sports nutronisrs meal plan for active people. Ive not eaten enough for so many years that my body is horribly jacked up and im having issues getting eating right.

  3. I don’t have any advice to offer, just encouragement. It will get better. You will feel better. Eventually, sooner or later, always, life gets better. Hang in there, tough lady.

  4. I totally get how you’re feeling. I had to have surgery after I FINALLY got back into the 170’s. I was on total bed rest for a month, and between the surgery and the time I was able to move again, I gained over 20lbs. I’ve been stuck in the 190’s and I can’t seem to get out again. I’m at the gym 3-4 days a week, eating healthy with a cheat here and there, but still not losing anything. Chin up, love. We can get through this mess.

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