2014 has been the year of constant setbacks and failure on my health and fitness front. I WIN, because even in the face of constant setbacks, I keep getting back up to go at it again,
this is what I tell myself anyway.
-Two years of stressors that continued to wreak havoc on my mental, emotional, and physical well being the whole of 2014, and just finished off my year with a Hiroshima sized bomb blast.
-issues in my body early in the year that caused rebound weight gain –still not too bad to bounce back from
-made the DUMB BUTT decision to “RE-FEED” my body so I could heal from health issues–MAJOR jump in weight 20 pounds. Dumbest move of 2014 — and it kinda set the weight gain tone for the year.
-Almost got run over by cars on my bike 5 times on a return ride from Seaside–which all but stopped my long rides and gave me trauma every time I got back on my bike. I bet you could see how this might seriously cut down on my ride time. Creating an environment to gain.
-I got sick of and on again since July 2014 — still dealing with major chest congestion that I ended up on a bronchial meter.
-I gained so much weight back that I won’t look at the scales. I would probably take the scale and break it on someone if I had to look at it.
-I have no clothes that fit … and I am too stubborn to by any. I keep thinking I will get the flab off and fit into my clothes–so far this strategy hasn’t worked–but I will blithely press forward in my ideals.
—–BIGGEST FAIL OF 2014—–Not blogging
Sad moment, but not a fail on my part. My Son and his family moved back to Alaska. Miss my kiddos big time bad.
-I AM ALIVE
– Mikey Still loves me.
– My youngest daughter fell in love, and we are planning a wedding. In our backyard. (This is a big stressor, but a super happy one).
– My fourth grand child–my third grandson was born almost on my birthday September 8th (my birthday is the 6th). He is so very cute and fat.
-My hubby still thinks I am sexy and beautiful even when I have been so worn out and sad that I don’t fix up–so I am super blessed.
I’d promise you that I was gonna write, but honestly, I hate to make promises that I am not sure I will keep. I am neck deep in wedding planning and prep. Life is full of CRAZY STUFF. My heart is broken. AND I am FAT again … so in general everything takes work.
Everything takes wayyyyyyyy more work than is normal for me. I have to FORCE myself to go out and be with people. I just don’t want to be seen. I HATE going to the gym. I can’t stand looking at myself in all those BLANKIN mirrors. I miss all my friends, but it takes days for me to even want to move after I see myself in all those mirrors.
So … I make myself walk, ride bikes, and other things where NO people are/or can see me. I do this so I don’t have to see the sadness or pity on the faces of those I care about. I F’ing HATE PITY! And pity is way better than the disgust on rude peoples faces. I have not regained all my weight, but God knows I hate where I am.
I am NOT a failure. Just in case you wondered, or felt the need to tell me I am. Stuff happens in life that derail your successful transitions–that happened with me. Now … now that I am ready to get up and face it again … I should be able to turn it around.
I will keep you posted.
I can’t figure out posting with my ipad yet … so there should be a photo of the wedding deck and my daughter and her fiancé …. but who know what you are gonna get. hahaha