2014 has been the year of constant setbacks and failure on my health and fitness front. I WIN, because even in the face of constant setbacks, I keep getting back up to go at it again, this is what I tell myself anyway.
2014 FAILS
-Two years of stressors that continued to wreak havoc on my mental, emotional, and physical well being the whole of 2014, and just finished off my year with a Hiroshima sized bomb blast.
-issues in my body early in the year that caused rebound weight gain –still not too bad to bounce back from
-made the DUMB BUTT decision to “RE-FEED” my body so I could heal from health issues–MAJOR jump in weight 20 pounds. Dumbest move of 2014 — and it kinda set the weight gain tone for the year.
-Almost got run over by cars on my bike 5 times on a return ride from Seaside–which all but stopped my long rides and gave me trauma every time I got back on my bike. I bet you could see how this might seriously cut down on my ride time. Creating an environment to gain.
-I got sick of and on again since July 2014 — still dealing with major chest congestion that I ended up on a bronchial meter.
-I gained so much weight back that I won’t look at the scales. I would probably take the scale and break it on someone if I had to look at it.
-I have no clothes that fit … and I am too stubborn to by any. I keep thinking I will get the flab off and fit into my clothes–so far this strategy hasn’t worked–but I will blithely press forward in my ideals.
—–BIGGEST FAIL OF 2014—–Not blogging
Sad moment, but not a fail on my part. My Son and his family moved back to Alaska. Miss my kiddos big time bad.
2014 WINS
-I AM ALIVE
– Mikey Still loves me.
– My youngest daughter fell in love, and we are planning a wedding. In our backyard. (This is a big stressor, but a super happy one).
– My fourth grand child–my third grandson was born almost on my birthday September 8th (my birthday is the 6th). He is so very cute and fat.
-My hubby still thinks I am sexy and beautiful even when I have been so worn out and sad that I don’t fix up–so I am super blessed.
I’d promise you that I was gonna write, but honestly, I hate to make promises that I am not sure I will keep. I am neck deep in wedding planning and prep. Life is full of CRAZY STUFF. My heart is broken. AND I am FAT again … so in general everything takes work.
Everything takes wayyyyyyyy more work than is normal for me. I have to FORCE myself to go out and be with people. I just don’t want to be seen. I HATE going to the gym. I can’t stand looking at myself in all those BLANKIN mirrors. I miss all my friends, but it takes days for me to even want to move after I see myself in all those mirrors.
So … I make myself walk, ride bikes, and other things where NO people are/or can see me. I do this so I don’t have to see the sadness or pity on the faces of those I care about. I F’ing HATE PITY! And pity is way better than the disgust on rude peoples faces. I have not regained all my weight, but God knows I hate where I am.
I am NOT a failure. Just in case you wondered, or felt the need to tell me I am. Stuff happens in life that derail your successful transitions–that happened with me. Now … now that I am ready to get up and face it again … I should be able to turn it around.
I will keep you posted.
I can’t figure out posting with my ipad yet … so there should be a photo of the wedding deck and my daughter and her fiancé …. but who know what you are gonna get. hahaha
The Wedding Deck. That we have worketh or taileths off on. Wine thirty happened every time the work stopped. This was to ensure we were able to kid ourselves into getting back to work on it.
Our Happy Couple. I kinda think that guy lucked out when he picked her and she picked him back. I think you can tell by the smile on her face that she feels good about him.
Diary of an Angry Fat Woman 
Shonnie, so sorry for your woes in 2014. On the good note you have grandchildren to love which is more than some of us have. Also the deck is smashing amazing and it will be a wonderful day when Erica marries the love of her life! I lost 12 lbs this year and the holidays have put 6 back. I seem to have lost the drive too It has been over 2 years that Dick has past and each morning I wake up thinking he is next to me and then I have to face reality. Really hard to begin the day without his greeting of “Good Morning Sweetie Pie” He really was a very sweet gentleman. I thought the other day that I never once heard him swear no matter what life brought him. Someone in church said they missed his bear hugs and it was all I could do to keep it together and say I do too! Cherish your Mickey every minute of every day….I did cherish Dick and it ended all too soon. 20 years went by like a week. I am sure Erica will have a beautiful wedding day surrounded with family that love her. Blessings Nancy
I do cherish my honey. He is the love of my life. I do have him. I have the Sophie Soph, but the my precious boys are gone to Alaska. I want their suga so bad!! Thankfully, I diid get to play with them for two years, but the whole they leave is terrible. I squeeze Sophia often now that the boys are all gone.
Glad to see you back blogging. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you in any way.
Thanks Kathie! We just need to meet up for coffee and to catch up!
2014 can suck it. I’m grateful for all that I’ve learned this year, and overwhelmed by all of the tangible and intangible blessings the year brought to me, but holy fuck what an exhausting, soul-destroying, mind-numbing, shit-storm of a year this was. 2015 will be better. Congratulations to you for all you’ve achieved, and especially for your growing family! Hugs, Desi.
Desi …. I have ALWAYS Loved the way you write … and you just summed up my year in one bang up good sentence. I am so sorry you know exactly how I feel. I hope and pray all of your lovelies are well and with you. Thank YOU so much for posting! I am going to have to go to your blog and find out what is the what with you! Love and many blessings on you and yours. The horrible part of my family growing is they are up in Alaska–far from my loving arms that need to hold and hug them.
Oh Shonnie, my heart hurts with you my friend!!! 2014 wasn’t so bad, or SO I THOUGHT!!!! Found out on December 18th, my Daddy has inoperable lung cancer. All the rest of the bad stuff like my weight gain means nothing to me now. My heart is broken as I watch my Mom, knowing she is losing the love of her life, married for 53 years on the 19th of January!!!! I plan to hit the losing weight for 2015, but not my main priority!!! I love your wedding deck you have built!!!! It is truly AWESOME!!!!!! Happy New Years to you & Mikey & your family!!!! Love you lots, Cammie
I am so sorry about your Daddy! Girl that breaks my heart for you. I will be praying for you and your whole family. Don’t be like me and forget to take care of yourself. I got so worn out … I just quit pressing. I don’t even have to be bad…I just have to quit fighting. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you move forward. I will be here if you ever need to talk. MY major bomb is one of my children is seriously ill … praying for his recovery.
I will be praying for your child, is it your son?? Not Colin, but I can’t recall your other son’s name. Please let me know & I will be praying!! I am trying to care for myself, my Mom, Sad & my husband fall first these days!!! I love you!!!
Thanks. It is my son Will and his family that need a BUNCH of prayer. Blessings to you and yours. I will pray for you all.
Oh … and thanks for liking the deck … I have WORKED MY BUTT OFF!