Dejected, discouraged, disheartened, dispirited and just plain Ticked OFF!


My heart grief has me grieving-languishing-pining for answeres for WHY my body is just a JERK!  Four days of a break with a few drinks thrown in has undone 3 weeks worth of work.

And we are NOT talking serious changes–just a few fruits and veggies added to the diet.  We are not talking Bread, Fried Food, or Pizza and Donuts, but AN apple or orange, 3 squares of dark chocolate … Oh and having 2 glasses of wine or straight touch of Tequilla has jacked with all my work.  

How the F’ing, Blankety, Blank is that even possible?????  Bovine Defication!  Bovine Defication! Bovine Defication!  Copulation!  Copulation!  Copulation!  No, I am NOT giving up, but I sure would like to rip somethings head off and stuff it up their behind–if only I could find something that would actually make me feel better!  Nothing does!

So back I go to being super strict.  Super controlled.  Measuring and weighing everything and monitoring my life like a fiend.  I am ready to scream.  I was hoping to hold steady on my weekend off.  I wasn’t hoping for a lose, but I worked super hard NOT to undo, but still I undid my work.  Guess it is back to the drawing board of what I can do and NOT do.

Imma gonna go back to painting and such to get my mind off my uncooperative body. 

And I plan to take a walk or two about the hood

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4 thoughts on “Dejected, discouraged, disheartened, dispirited and just plain Ticked OFF!

  1. I’m sure you’ve already thought about it – and I totally know what you are feeling (I’m 56 and have been obese most all of my adult life and have heard it all and tried it all and share your anger and frustration) – but have you ever thought about just stopping? And, have you listened to or read anything by Gillian Riley? Not sure either are right for you but you never know. I have no answers but I know what you’re feeling and wanted to let you know you weren’t alone.

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