Today, as with yesterday, I have gone out to the park to walk mid-day. It has been so lovely here in Birmingham. I pant and breathe like an old fat perve making a dirty phone call. I hurt my back lifting my bars from one level of the deck on Wednesday to the other so we could stain. I just realized I didn’t see my post about staining the deck … not sure what happened to it … but later … once I have finished this post … I will search for it. I have can barely walk or do anything because of the backache. What was I thinking?? That I am Wonder Woman? I’m fat woman hear me roar, but NOT Wonder Woman! The deck is all stained and looking amazing! My daughter and I did good! Now, we are ready to get the furniture back on the deck so we can enjoy this fabulous weather with a glass of wine under the lights draped in the trees.
It is sad how far I have fallen when it comes to fitness. I know I have been sick. I know I have had all manner of issues with my health and medications, but it is so hard to walk past the mirror and see the results. I tell myself, “Shonnie, don’t look, you will cry and you won’t go out and do what you need to do.” I weigh myself on scales that don’t show pounds so I can track but not know–because I LOVE me. I am deserving of nice things. I have worked hard and much of my efforts have been thwarted over the past few years.
I know you don’t see my snarky side much, but it you had been with the perv today, you woulda heard me f-bombing my way around the pond. Hey, I went further. The little old lady didn’t hear me cussing her, at least I don’t think she did, because she had her butt on my bench. My sweet mama did and she laughed her butt off. She finds my angry self funny–which is a good thing. She knows I am not mad–well not really–at people, but she does enjoy my grumpy comments. Hahaha
I’m punch drunk at this point, because I have walked up and down the hill in my yard and then gone for a walk–further than the day before–with my sad self. Everyday it is a little better than the day before. I can live with this even if it is a blow to my ego. I tell myself–“Shonnie–you are out here doing it like an 90 year old geriatric, but you are doing it. If you keep doing it you WILL get stronger!” I even told my Mama what I tell myself, because I was panting super hard having to bend over at the waist sucking in air like I had just ran a sprint–a girls gotta keep herself built up. Mike took me walking yesterday and he is always upbeat about my efforts. He is always so proud of me, and himself if I am honest. Hehe. That’s why I like him though!
Well, I am gonna sit on my porch and dream of the wine my hubby is going to open for me when he gets here and we are going to enjoy this beautiful evening!