Manic Ramblings of a Food Deprived Mind


Should this be my new wordpress pic ID?

I am having horrible withdrawals from food.  When I look at the shakes, I want to scream and punch someone.  I tell myself this is temporary.  I am not going to live here.  I am going to move on shortly to real — HEALTHY — food.  I don’t have to fear.  Everything is going to be ok.

However, my emotions are really not agreeing with my head.  I am for the most part listening to logic.  I know Dr. Ard is right.  I believe he has the best plan for me.  Simple.  Straight forward to the goal of 150 pounds.  I started at 255 — am now about 184 — I want to weigh 150.  I know with my head he is right.  I know I have lingered around this weight for far too long, and, if I just push, I will be there in no time at all.

Having said this, I must acknowledge that knowing this has not helped my emotions. I am systematically removing from my home all foods that should not be consumed while in stage one transition. I was not about to throw away good food: it costs WAY too much.  So … now I am down to just the allowed foods and SHAKES.  WHAAAAHHH.

I can already feel my body responding to the harder exercises, and the shakes.  I like the feel of muscle.  🙂 I tell myself hourly I am going to do this.  One way or another.  Mikey keeps telling me I can do this.  Thankfully, I have not been forgetful of my evening meds … (taking them now … brb … OK back meds all down) because I don’t want to go through the chemical rages of yesterday.  DANG!  That was horrible. Just sayin’ is all.

I walked this AM for 30 minutes and burned about 300 calories with my weighted backpack; then, I shopped, lifted, and wagged Ms. Sophie girl along the way.  I ran up and down the stairs about 7 times … do you all think that counts as a workout?  I forgot to mention that I was carrying up bags of stuff while I was running … think that counts for weights?  Anyway … I am working to be active, drink my food, and try to keep my starving body convinced that it isn’t really hungry.  Shortly, Mikey and I will head off to ride our bikes for an hour or so … that, my friends, will be the highlight of my day (aside from talking with you all–that is not a joke).

Well, it is that time … time to ice up the chilly ties, fill up the drink bottles, and change into spandex bike clothes and hit the hills.  🙂  I will feel like a million bucks when we get back from that … we always do, even with the heat.   Wish you all were here or we were all on some tropical isle watching the waves roll in and the sun set pink and blue along the horizon. …OH … and with cute drinks with umbrellas in them because I have reached goal and can have one of those here an there.

……later y’all ….S

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15 thoughts on “Manic Ramblings of a Food Deprived Mind

  1. Your doing great Shonnie and your honesty is always something I love to read.

    I think your activity levels are ace!

    Sorry about the food issues, personally, I couldn’t do what you are doing. No, nada!

    The profile pic is fab!

    • Thanks Paul.

      I have found that activity keeps the pain away. I like a painfree life — or a greatly reduced pain level. Makes me smile. Besides the bike riding — man I have to MAKE myself stop. It just makes me feel so good. 🙂

      Paul, if this wasn’t working when nothing else has , I can assure you that I wouldn’t be able to do it either! Just sayin’~ Thanks man!

  2. As I’ve said before when I first found your blog, I’ve never known where the angrey fit bit came in as you had already moved smoothly into corker territory before I saw any pictures. As to angry, I’ve hardly cme across a more warm hearted person so boo to you on that one too. Your doing well with the will-power and I look forward to the nexrt weigh-in

  3. Shonnie – LOVE the headshot – you look great – SKINNY FACE GIRL!!!! Look at your beautiful eyes and CHEEK BONES – fabulous! Okay… well, I think it must be incredibly hard to just have the shakes and an evening meal that is so restricted – I understand how that’s going to send your head buzzing I really do!!! I admire you so much because I’m honestly not sure I could cope with that regime – BUT you have coped with it before and you know you can cope with it now – and you know it will get the weight moving again in the right direction 🙂

    The thing that gets me the most is how active you are – that is so fantastic – if I could be half as active I’d be over the moon – I haven’t been to the gym for weeks and weeks and my walking has decreased due to stuff going on and not having blocks of time to myself to just walk – reading your blog reminds me I HAVE to get this body moving again – before I cease up!!!

    Keep at it Shonnie because ever step is a step nearer to 150 🙂 it’s yours for the taking! xxx

    • Dizi — I so HEART YOU! I liked the pic too, just wish that it was how I looked on regular-without-filtered photos! Gosh to turn back time. Thanks So VERY MUCH … so much more than I know how to say for being here, now in the slumps. 🙂

      Seizing up is the reason I move. The moment I stop girl … the pain that sets in. Get you cute butt movin’ you butt kickin’ girly you! 😀

  4. Your struggle inspires me. I too have a hard time resisting the bad goodies. Today I ate pretty healthy and actually started making homemade yogurt again to go with my homemade granola. I find that healthy food is easier to tolerate if I make it myself and yogurt and granola are great combinations. Keep on keepin’ on you crazy chick 🙂

    • Thanks you Crazy Chick! 🙂 I am glad my struggles are inspiring … I mean that. It makes me feel that these horrible moments have a good purpose. That means a LOT. 🙂 Homemade yogurt and granola sounds AMAZING! 🙂

  5. What are the approved foods besides shakes? I can have 2 bars and the optifast soup – can you? Is there other food you can have? Just wondering how different or similar our programs are.

    • The approved foods will be the ones they go over with you when you start transition. I was up to two meals a day with plans to go to more when the Doc changed me back to transition 1. YUCK … BOOO …. HISS!

      They will go over with you some choices of meats and veggies that they will keep very restricted.

      The amount you get is as follows:

      4 oz. lean meat and 1 cup raw veggies or 1/2 cup cooked veggies … little or no fat used in preparation. Booo Hisssss! Back to yucky bouillon to put my salt back in my diet. I am really not taking this well.

      Does that help?

      • That sounds the same, for transition. I know the first week we will swap out one product and swap in 4 oz protein and 4 oz cooked veg (she says we don’t have enzymes for raw yet!). Thanks

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