I am having horrible withdrawals from food. When I look at the shakes, I want to scream and punch someone. I tell myself this is temporary. I am not going to live here. I am going to move on shortly to real — HEALTHY — food. I don’t have to fear. Everything is going to be ok.
However, my emotions are really not agreeing with my head. I am for the most part listening to logic. I know Dr. Ard is right. I believe he has the best plan for me. Simple. Straight forward to the goal of 150 pounds. I started at 255 — am now about 184 — I want to weigh 150. I know with my head he is right. I know I have lingered around this weight for far too long, and, if I just push, I will be there in no time at all.
Having said this, I must acknowledge that knowing this has not helped my emotions. I am systematically removing from my home all foods that should not be consumed while in stage one transition. I was not about to throw away good food: it costs WAY too much. So … now I am down to just the allowed foods and SHAKES. WHAAAAHHH.
I can already feel my body responding to the harder exercises, and the shakes. I like the feel of muscle. 🙂 I tell myself hourly I am going to do this. One way or another. Mikey keeps telling me I can do this. Thankfully, I have not been forgetful of my evening meds … (taking them now … brb … OK back meds all down) because I don’t want to go through the chemical rages of yesterday. DANG! That was horrible. Just sayin’ is all.
I walked this AM for 30 minutes and burned about 300 calories with my weighted backpack; then, I shopped, lifted, and wagged Ms. Sophie girl along the way. I ran up and down the stairs about 7 times … do you all think that counts as a workout? I forgot to mention that I was carrying up bags of stuff while I was running … think that counts for weights? Anyway … I am working to be active, drink my food, and try to keep my starving body convinced that it isn’t really hungry. Shortly, Mikey and I will head off to ride our bikes for an hour or so … that, my friends, will be the highlight of my day (aside from talking with you all–that is not a joke).
Well, it is that time … time to ice up the chilly ties, fill up the drink bottles, and change into spandex bike clothes and hit the hills. 🙂 I will feel like a million bucks when we get back from that … we always do, even with the heat. Wish you all were here or we were all on some tropical isle watching the waves roll in and the sun set pink and blue along the horizon. …OH … and with cute drinks with umbrellas in them because I have reached goal and can have one of those here an there.
……later y’all ….S