I have NO intention of punishing myself with utensils such as these. Yes, I have gotten fluffy over the past few years, but I deserve more betta dan diss! My mouth is still pained when I attempt to chew anything other than mac n cheese–great diet food. Still, I have to eat what I can. I have made a few protein shakes–they weren’t so good, but that is probably because I didn’t have enough stuff to make them taste good.
I could go for a juice, but then I would have to go to the store to buy veggies to juice, I don’t feel like going to the store. My mouth still hurts. My sinuses still hurt. I still have a bit of a headache, but I have managed a few wine thirties and a couple of highballs of Tequila … that has been nice. Mikey has been sweet. Life is painful, but GRAND.
I have spent a fair amount of time in this spot. Well, when we weren’t making a video on how to MAKE a bed properly. You might think such a thing as a training on how to make a proper bed would be easy enough without a video–you would be wrong. As you would be wrong if you thought that sweeping, vacuuming, or moping didn’t need much-o instruction-o! I digress … I have only stayed out of my comfy bed to make videos and then return as quickly as possible. Most of the week I had a TV viewing buddy–my grand girly. She LOVES to snuggle with me in the bed–alright–I love it too!!
I’m going out of my mind wanting …. wanting … wanting …. CRUNCHY FOOD!!
I want to eat crunchy foods. I tried crackers last night. I did eat them, but I had to let them sit in my mouth to soften–GROSS! I like crunchy foods Crunchy. Just sayin. You’d think this would make dieting easy since I can’t really eat … but all the foods that I LIKE and are healthy for you require a BUNCH of chewing. I do like to chew. I blended my meat last night that helped–I made homemade deviled ham. I have always loved deviled ham, but as an adult my tummy won’t quite tollerate the Underwood Brand, so I have come up with a way that is a touch spicier and will sit nicely on my tummy.
Most likely … what I will not be eating CRUNCHY today, but will be eating a baked sweet potato, my honey ginger ham blended, with peppers and avocado! Not a bad meal, but still not what I wanted. I want the parm crusted chicken fingers backed. Come on y’all I wanna eat a salad with crunchies on top. Can’t even really eat a salad. So I have been drinking them.
I am looking forward to eating without pain. Until then … I will press on.
I am NOT mad at me for gaining weight. I was angry about it for a while … today … I am just feeling empowered. I think these teeth have been draggin me down for sometime. Even thought I have not had much energy, mentally though I have felt strengthened and focused.
As to my bein hard on myself for regaining … There were too many factors at play … factors that messed this whole weight-loss-deal up for me. I am not going to “OWN” my fattness … as in beat myself up because I pigged out, because I didn’t. I tried some things that FAILLED, but I DID NOT FAIL! I don’t understand folks who feel like they NEED to “OWN” defeat to overcome it … even to the point of discounting the factors outside their control that caused the situation. I understand personal responsibility, but it seems mentally abusive to “OWN” things you have no control over. If “OWNING” it works for you … I think you should own it! I am not dogging out anyone. I would feel smacked down and self hating if I looked at myself in that light–but that is just me.
There are too many things and people who come along to drag fluffy people down … we don’t need to rag each other for what does or does not work in our lives.
I just have to keep pressing in and fighting for my fitness and my health as well as a smaller body.
What are you pressing for?