Stinky Bits ….

Truth time … this is the time we talk about Stinky Bits. Wimpy Workouts. Tummy Cramps.  The good points I shared were real … but lest you think this has been all sunshine and roses … well … we must talk about the stinky bits.  This fat girl’s gotta keep it real.  You know the Fabulous, the Okay, and the Shite–its all a part of the deal.

The agony that has been my life over the past week.  It’s like my body is seriously angry with me.  Horrid smells emanate from my body and sometimes even my breath.  Muscles worble, jirate, and completely give out on me for no apparent reason.  I can barely do anything that resembles living.  I don’t even know how I would fair if I had a job that required me to get dressed and function–I tell myself I could do it–and I probably would.  Thanking God I can moan in home office!  Then there is my Tummy.  Oh, what about My Tummy????  I dont even know what is going on with my gastrointestinal region, but I think I might actually be ALIEN.

I wish you could effectively and QUICKLY clean out your body where you didn’t have to suffer through the indignities of a week or more of body detoxification that is … is…is…well…positively revolting!   There were all sorts of inappropriate photos I could have taken or used, but the whole garbage idea gives you the image without making you ill … I hope!  The program said that it would take 7 t 14 days for my body to regulate.  I hoped all this stinky business could be avoided by my STEPPING into the program gently — but thats a big NO.

I’ve never figured out the best way to do “Click Bait” I am sure this blog post could have a wonderfully sensational title that would garner me magnitud-in-ous (have no idea if that is even a word, but it works for me) attention and click through, but that would require a brain.  Something … I am clearly deviod or lacking possession of … at the very least cannot access fully …

My workouts are both surprising and pathetic.  Our bike ride the other day was wimpy! Wimpy! Wimpy!!  We did it.  I didn’t cough and gag, then vomit on the street like I did on last Monday night’s walk … so I guess this was an improvement.  I have managed to workout through horrific headaches and terrible sinus issues.  I even managed one visit to the gym and get a good workout.

*****Okay ***** what demon god is in control of the gym?  Why is it whenever I decide to go to the gym it is FILLED to over flowing with HOT BODIES?  Mike went two days prior and told me it was just people like us.  I go and the place is filled with gods and goddess!!!!  It’s like — you must go, Shonnie, it is your calling in life to make these wonderful specimens of creation feel even MO BETTA, and you must walk the firey Coals-of-Shame with all your rolls on display!  I mean seriously–I opted not to go today and Mike sez its back to old farts getting in shape.  😲😲😲

I will go back to the gym, but I was trying to revisit the Kettle Bell workout to see if I had gotten stronger … uuuuhhh … NOT.  I guess it takes more than a week to see the strength signs.

Overall for my past week with carb loading days included I have lost a solid 2 1/2 pounds for the weeks work.  I can live with that very happily–even if I do look angry, and possibly appear angry, or even sound angry–I’m happy!  Just for the record.  I get to eat real food–I’m F’ing happy. K?  I really am … but it seriously looks like I’m pissed.

Laters taters.


2 thoughts on “Stinky Bits ….

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