I’m a fluffy puffy


The sky that greeted me on my walk/jog today.

Well, at least that I how I feel these days.  I know I have gained and when your family is beating about the bush and saying things like, “I think you might have gained a little” … well you know you have probably gained WAY more than you want to accept.  The sad truth of my matter.

At first I thought maybe there could just possibly be some puffiness from my weight lifting because that always happens, but … well … I guess some of it went down.  Not enough.  My clothes are fitting tighter now than they did before I left Alaska.  So the problem has occured upon returning.  The problem occured when I became HORRIBLY exhuasted and had no food options and was consuming what ever I could get my hands on to hopefully garner some form of energy.  I’m hungry now.  I am not going to eat, but I thought  I would share that for and FYI.  I know it is because I am tired and the food isn’t going to fix my problem; it might make my life worse though.

I have mentioned several times about being tired.  I don’t know how to explain it so that you can understand. I will try.  There is a wave that has often, in the past, surged up in me.  This wave would overwhelm my body with exhuastion completely leaving me devoid of strength for living. Mental fogs, loss of coordination, inability to concentrate, easily angered, and the list goes on.  I have to ride this wave unto its end.  There is no jumping off by pushing harder.  You can’t get up and shake it off.  If you do it will hang around longer.  I just have to wait for it to pass … I don’t do waiting well … Just sayin’.

Thankfully, when we went to the beach and I couldn’t go any more … we recognized it as an important signal and we stopped.  Over the past few weeks I have been unable to keep up with my life or my blog because, bloggin as you know requires mental energy, and energy is energy.  I have had very little energy.

Thankfully, I know that this will come to an end, and if I am reasonable with my food (I have gone shopping–so that is a HUGE plus) I won’t have too bad of a problem to deal with when I get to the end of this wave’s path.

Thankfully, I know that I have lost weight all year last year and I can handle what ever the scale is going to show–WHEN–I finally step on it.  I have decided to NOT weigh, because my sweet parents are here and if I were to have worse news than I am expecting I do not want to go through the emotional breakdown with them around.  Not because they would be horrible or anything … they don’t do well with my crying.  They want to fix whatever my problem might be … and this one is just going to take time … and processing.  Only I can “fix” this deal-i-o so I think I will “wait” to “weigh” for a better day. ahahahaha … yeah, I am fine.  Why do you ask?  Doesn’t everyone laugh?

Thankfully, I have a LOT of great support so I will get through this struggle as well as the many that I have trimphed over in the past year.  I have a great medical team so … I won’t be out here alone.  Yea me!

Later in the week I will let ya know when I am gonna step on the scales … Later gaters … oh and forgive the typo’s.  I will fix them later.  Sleepy now and I think I should go with that.  S

The Fluffy Puffy girl! 😉

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “I’m a fluffy puffy

  1. Pingback: Weigh Day (week forty-six) | afoodaddict

  2. Anyway you slice it, persistent tired sucks! It has been a while since this has happened to you, but you will catch your breath and be back kicking life in the rear again really soon.

  3. Worried about you my friend! I want you to know that I am thinking of you and hope that you are feeling better soon. Get back up on the good food choice wagon girlie…you can do this! Oh…and water, water, water….make sure you are staying hydrated. Love you friend! Be well! : )

    • Well, nothing to be worried about Beth, but that is very sweet to know you care! 😀

      This is a condition that I am very familiar with … I have had chronic fatigue since the beginning of my problems … 24 years ago. I have battled with this foe for some time. There have been months of my life in the past were I never left the bed most days other than to potty or feed myself or my kiddos. Thank God it has been a LONG while since I suffered that bad.

      I am not there now.

      I think I need to write another post real quick.

  4. “I’m hungry now. I am not going to eat….”

    Rather than not eating, you might consider finding a nice piece of protein (lean or not, as you prefer) to eat.

    It will help you feel full for a long time, be good for your metabolism, and save you from feeling the deprivation that sometimes accompanies “dieting”.

    Regardless of whether you do or not, I wish you continued success.

    Work strong and work smart,

    New John

    • Thanks New John. That is a great idea, but at Midnight I was too lazy to get up and go in there for meat or anything else. Hahaha! Hope you stop back by again with good thoughts like that one. 🙂

    • I know girl … I know. I know it will pass, but I just have to wade through the water for now. It has changed from mud to water … this is a good sign. 🙂

  5. Get back to work 😛
    Don’t use the parents as an excuse to keep eating. Get back to the diet even if you don’t step on the scale.

    I still haven’t gotten back to pre-holiday weight which surprises me. It has taken me over 3 weeks to make up for about 5 bad days. 😦

    My clothes were definitely tight after Christmas. Heck, the pants were new so they were a bit tight when I bought them. I still can’t get into one pair.

    I can’t figure out why the weight refuses to come off this time. In the past, holiday weight fell off pretty fast. It must be the free lunch at work on Wednesday. That one bad meal a week is keeping my weight up.

    End rant/

    In summary…..

    GET BACK TO WORK!

    And I am worried about Optifastloser! 😦

    • You betta watch out Talkin’ all tough with me Mr. Grumpy Man! Hahah … I could get you. 😉

      Actually, my mom did Atkins style eating before it became a controversy. She brought her own sugar snacks because she knows I just have the fruit. Mostly apples and berries.

      You ranting isn’t bothering me thought … I kind a thought it was funny. 🙂 I need to laugh right now. I thought I figured out my problem … needing more thyroid meds … it helped some yesterday, but it isn’t really working well today. I guess I will just have to wait it out.

      Don’t worry … I am eating on plan. Just can barely get out and exercise. I know for me that means normal levels … but I have learned rest is AS important as activity and I just have to rest for now. Try to keep the food under control and worry about losing later.

      🙂

  6. You are not a fluffy puffy! You look gorgeous to me! Chin up girl, you are amazing and you will get over this little funk soon xxxx

    • Thanks Mel! I appreciate that! I know I will get over the funk. Thank God it will pass … I just don’t do well with waiting on things, but I know if I push this it will cause me WAY more pain.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s